joy

2007-12-07T15:53:00.000-08:00

oh my dear chung cheng.

i miss the canteen. the auditorium. the lake. the basketball courts. the 4grace classroom.

but not the cca block. zzz.

im a broke kid.

2007-11-24T06:59:00.000-08:00

and its because i don't feel the same way i did towards you anymore.

it's just like a metamorphosis i experienced.

perhaps the realisation that i want to achieve more in life,
to meet more people without having you frown upon,
getting on in life without having to report like a dead fish,
and that if we were a perfect couple, we probably met too early for our own good,
all fell upon me overnight.

i had to think about your feelings each time i do anything, and worrying if you did think the same to me each time,
i had to constantly hold my phone in my hand just in case i missed your call and ended up getting scolded, i think i developed some anxiety illness.
i had to make you happy at the extent of me myself being unhappy but i didnt care.
i had to make sure everything i did was pristine, immaculate and correct so that you would not pick on me each time you discovered smthg wrong.
i had to hide all the above feelings in case you thought i was being demanding.

you changed for me, yes you did.
but it was too late because i realised something else during the process of knowing that i didnt want to get too serious too soon.
and when i finally plucked up the courage to tell you i wanted to end everything,
you so willingly changed for my sake.

i kept all my feelings into a trunk,
i made myself think that I was wrong and we could start over and I could fall back in love with you again.
You were right, i hung onto you because i thought about our 3 long endearing years of relationship, you being able to make it big in the future, and because bread is more important than love.

then this one month proved that i was so wrong.
perhaps it was because i pressured myself so much to listen to you each time, i felt so freed when i didnt have to answer your calls and the little voice in my head didnt remind me to call you anymore.
i saw you going around in circles trying to get me back, you suffering trying to make me yours again, you sacrificing a lot to make me return to the girl you loved last time.
i saw all those.
those tears, those smses, those letters.
You told me i won her. the "her" i wanted to win so much in my life.
but i no longer feel happy about my winning.

so what if i won?
previously i could be dancing around in circles, but I couldnt do so now. it felt weird.

you ask me what do i want right now.
i could tell you heaps-
the fun i missed out last time, the gatherings i did not attend, the time i lost with my friends spent w you, and the freedom i like right now.

you ask why I'm doing this to you now.
i could tell you a bit-
because i do not know how else to explain to you because you demand an answer to every question you have.

im sorry because i cant give you what you really want.
but this is the best way to do it.

2007-11-11T17:30:00.000-08:00

PILLS. PILLS. and more PILLS.

in yellow, purple and pearl.

to the back of my throat they go,

an icky bitterness that follows.

to kill the wriggling germs in your body,

mummy used to explain.

where's my reward?

i used to exclaim,

the sweet on the nurse's counter, mummy will say.

the yellowish counter shrunk over the years,

the sweet bottle becoming more obvious.

i used to anticipate the flavour i will take,

when i put my hand in and fished for my stake.

but now i can choose my flavour wisely,

because im 20 inches taller than the counter.

no longer having the need to tip my toe,

and dipping my tiny fingers into sugar.

ten years later Mr. Doctor changed.

he had waves of wrinkles on his face,

but one thing that remained the same,

was him saying : an apple a day keeps me at bay.

2007-11-10T14:36:00.000-08:00

i totally flunked bloody MSTs.
why?
because,
a) i wasnt 1000000% prepared.
b) i was tired each time i took the test.
c) I kept thinking of the next paper that was coming after i finish that paper.

so, a combination of A, B and C = expected low marks for MST.
i can no longer lie to myself that heck, its just a 15% weightage and i can take this lightly and work hard for the upcoming semestral exams.

why did i fall into sucha hole?!
Bloody shit.

I should go overseas and lock myself up somewhere on a quiet island and mug hard for any exams that come by. with no computers, no handphones, but with my fave tidbits and a person to study with me. Bf is excluded- because i cannot study with him around.

ZZZ.

Anyway, its over so i shouldnt harp on it.
I cut my fringe into bangs! WHAHAHA. and layered my hair.
perhaps i will get a hair colour next.
but i want to wait for my hair to grow before sending it into curly waves.

oh, IDEAS proj, apologies to my group members for sleeping at home while you sweeties go hunting at town. (i was too damn tired, but i know you all are too! :X)

and, im sick.
maybe no school tmr for me.
:]

2007-11-01T19:17:00.000-07:00

sealed. and sent.

2007-10-26T05:54:00.000-07:00

oh.my.god.
it has been eons ago since i last updated my blog.
to think i thought i would be active enough to blog about all stuffs that happened everyday on Day1 when lim hui juan first start'd my blog for me.

E-learning week next week,
MST the next next week.

Alrightes.
so my knowledge on year long modules ended ever since 1st MST ended,
and my knowledge on semester long modules hasnt yet been accumulated.
Great. HaHaHa.
and there's a hell lot of projects going on.

Ideas. FoM. OM. CRS.
Thanks ar. I'm the wonderful leader for the Ideas project. (oh btw my grp name is called Cyberkids! :D ) and we're going to go down town one day to visit chanel, LV and topshop. YAYNESS. an excuse to shop also! WAHAHAHA.

Ok stop. I've no money. shop what shit?
*slaps.

school's been a fugly bitch all this while.
and life's pretty much screwed also.
I realised i need to study hardhardhard. because someone just told me that the tourism industry will not hire poly students (even though justina tok today just told me that they wl need about 700,000 people by 2010) and they're looking for retirees and housewives more.

T_T

okay lor.
whatever shit im going to be in the future, i need to bloody get my GPA UP first dammnit.

alright. blog abt today.
so uhh,
theres this perth trip going on next feb 08, sounds fun, since i have been giving Australia as the answer whenever people ask me which country i wanna visit the most in my life ever since i was in mummy's womb.
So, yeah.
the price's okay. Twothousanddollars. 8D7N.
but then LHJ told me that theres no nightlife in Aust, everywhere's quiet by 5pm.
ERMS.
that kinda shook me.

5pm?!
I end sch at 5 on Fridays hello. and on somedays i even go town after sch.
so i cannot imagine staying in the hotel when its only 5pm, and trying to tuck myself in when its 6pm (and the sky is alr dark. wth.) and my family members in singapore are still waiting for dinner to be served at tampines mall, perhaps even going shopping at the supermarket after dinner. no amount of hot chocolate is going to arouse me to sleep at 6pm in the evening shitz.

but sis' going to beijing later next month. shuang lor. so mum said when she's away in china, we're going on a genting escapade WHEEEHAAAA! that sounds better somehow. (:

its 9pm. im going to plan my exam timetable and incoporate shopping + sentosa trips into it. but then i probably have lesser time to study shit.
life sucks.

goodluck to my friends at ny in their A's.
i know your lives temporarily suck more than mine.

haha

2007-10-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

Birthday pics!
9TH OCT 07 : [Thank you for the surprise! You girls (+ guys) make my 18th birthday special and memorable!! ]

Lovely Nanny and Sexy Justina (Gosh.)

Pretty Huijuan!

Not bimbotic MEH!?

During Class!

Chocolate Fudge Cake with 17 candles.
(1 already taken away by tok wei lin.)

You only get to do this once a year!
So, pose pretty.

At Marche:

lovely!

YAY Joy is getting heavier and heavier by the day!
:]

2007-10-10T16:34:00.000-07:00

i think i kind of morphed.
i no longer crave for new clothes new bags new accessories, neither do i want to take the trouble to shop online.
i forgot all about searching for the important ibanking kit, where my bunch of keys lie.
i wake up dreading each day every morning, and today the most because there's 5 straight hours of tutorial + lectures.

...okay continue later. LATE.

2007-10-08T16:12:00.000-07:00

i didnt wait too long for this day to come.
thank you to everyone whom sent me the birthday greetings, regardless of whether its through friendster, sms or calls. it just made me feel someone out there in the world of mine still knows it s my bday without me reminding like a reckless twelve year old kiddo.

too many things happened and I feel tired to list them out one by one.
and perhaps there's still one tiny part of me thats nagging inccessantly away at choice i made.

and im getting all too emotional and pms-ing nowadays, i see the cynical side of every soul i meet. i feel like slapping everyone awake, only to realise in the end that I was the only one whom has been sleeping all this while.

whatever it is.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
finally Eighteen.

2007-09-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

Holy. i actually grinned to myself when i saw these!

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

2007-09-29T21:20:00.001-07:00

bored.

the boy went for lion dance early in the morning, so didnt meet him.

then, i opened a folder of past photos and saw this:

i know she's going to kill me for putting this picture she thought ive disposed of longggggggg ago. but anyway,
that was taken i think, uhm.. 3 years ago.

surprisingly the colours are still rather clear despite technology being not-so-in at that time.

and i was still carrying my OP bright pink bagpack, wearing my big round glasses and having centre partings. and, dreaming everyday for a boyfriend to drop from the sky.

damn damn ugly.

UGLINESS METER: 4 out of 5 stars.

and this is now!

love how she stuck with me thru the 4 years. (:

see how you changed, so don't feel down my love! i know you're feeling outta sorts and your posts are getting increasingly depressed. but when you looked back on how you changed, from bruises to no bruises (HEHE:D), your list of favourite shops in town getting increasingly longer, your wardrobe with over 200pieces of clothes and your wonderful pool of mateys at tp, you should smile because god gave you much more things than what he took away from you.

and i realised,

i love my friends even though some are really bitchy and bimbotic sometimes:D

2007-09-29T08:50:00.001-07:00

went to queensway with baby and his bunkmate, sourced for printing companies to print their squadtee at. walked around then left abt an hour later, then followed him to his lion dance place and i left shortly after.

just came back from a supermarket trip with mummy daddy and sis. no wonder shengshiong so got many people. their stuffs are so cheap lah wahlao. bought lots of tidbits and snacks, and there were like 5 big overstuffed plastic bags, and everything cost $25 only. unpacked when we reached home, started nibbling on the chocolate mint pack of chocolates i bought for only 60cents. SB sells it for 80cents! not much difference but to me its a lot. (:
and chipster tastes exactly like Lays. only that it comes in a smaller and newer designed packaging. other than that, it tastes exactly the same. so much advertising and marketing on chipsters made me thought its damn nice. chey.

received my pay today too. although its just half of what im supposed to get, the feeling's good nevertheless. i shall be more conscientious at digging for assignments.
i don't ever want my source of income to be cut off suddenly. i will cry.

2007-09-27T06:23:00.000-07:00

im so proud of myself that i actually survived school today. probably because its the first week of sch and lessons end to be a lil shorter.
im glad that i survived sem1 accounting. even though the whole class is way smart, i know i suck at accounting but I survived miraclously! *BIG FAT GRIN.

went town with three members from Eighteen.
oh, oh. I havent introduced Eighteen yet!
Our wonderful clique consisting of David Beckham, Justin Timberlake, Jesse Mccartney, Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton and lastly...... the super dee duper SIM KIAN HO! (:

We were just too bored during break today so the 8 of us (actually only 4. the other 4 couldnt be bothered with our nonsense) decided to come up with a nice clique name and TADAH, Eighteen's born. each celeb actually represented each and every one of us HAHAHA. How cute.

those whom didnt know will wonder whats Sim Kian Ho our stats lecturer's name doing up there. he represents Nanny! How sweet. she didnt know which celebrity to choose so we did it for her. altho his looks and figure are way far from Justin Timberlake, but love overcomes everything. (:

yet to think of a name for four of us.
Thought of names like Lips, Square, hell shoppers, hibiscus, cyberteens and loads more.
racked our brains thinking of a name during break today, so we took a break and nanny said that we will think of one when the day comes.

anyway, went town with two members from Eighteen. namely, david beckham and jesse mccartney. they are huijuan and justina respectively! im justin timberlake by the way. bought the two cardigans from cotton on. told huijuan, oops i mean, david beckham, that i would spend anymore. and she said, "i dont trust you." *big fat smile with a big fat simple on a small thin face.*

damn. i always say that but i end up spending. the whole world knows actually.

and mmm i thought about it way long and hard.
i really would prefer people to mistake me upon first impression as someone whom is fake. then fat.
although david, jesse and sim kian ho doesnt agree, justin will take her stand.

and xiao hua xiao cao is coming SP tmr!
everyone's so gonna dress up.
including Eighteen!
(:

title title.

2007-09-25T06:18:00.000-07:00

today lessons was boring too. late for 10 mins for IDEAS, but me and nanny discovered something magnificent. we created our own fantabulous invention for our project! its pretty much like YDA. the competition everyone took part in during sec2 DNT lessons.

and we also discovered: GGT's a pretty much ponable lesson. with lengthy slides without any blanks, we will not worry about blank slides or missing out anything anymore! (:
although mrgray is funny, he can be boring sometime too.
not in the mood to laugh today, but his "after learning GBE and UCDD, you can all expand your minds. -pause and some gibber came out of his mouth which i didnt catch- when i say expanding your minds doesnt mean its exploding yah?"

hahahahahahhaha.
damn damn funny.

i love first week of school. kind of ironic when i keep saying its boring.
but there's only half an hour of stats tmr!!! WHEEPEDOO!
and theres cca meeting to attend. shit going to tio kan for not doing newsletter. the much much delayed one since july and im the wonderful in charge.

rebecca reminded me that our CCA points for smart activities werent updated.
shit man i put in so many man hours into that sia, altho i got slack but its hours right.
damn i will ask the roger lim when i see him in school.

okay im so tired.
nitez.

2007-09-24T16:23:00.000-07:00

AIYAH. first day of school and school's already a major turn off.
was school even worth mentioning?
went to school feeling slightly rejuvenated, but upon meeting all the new lecturers and tutors,
school starts to suck.

was complaining to mr.boyf on the phone last night.
the marketing lecturer's shorttongued, he went.. te te te temasek poly. quite cute to hear a sim kian ho lookalike say that, but it only made me laugh, then zzz.
and marketing tutor. a vietnamese whom looks like she's dressed up for malay cultural dance, albeit with a strong ang moh accent thats wee too overwhelming to the ears. at first it sounded quite okay as it was the first time we're hearing it so sounds quite new. then later, it kind of became toooooo overwhelming we switched off.

we as in we. the four of us. sitting front row somemore.
was lip synching to andrea that i was damn bored. =/ she too. in fact, the whole class was. i think.

perhaps someone better was Mr.Gray. justina's the ultimate SPG when she says she loves Angmohs.
his shut up lah, i know! perked the whole lecture room up. (:
at least i hope hes lessons arent boring. he's our tutor too!
but we still have to single out his fault.
and dearest huijuan said he talked too fast and in accent somemore, scared hard to catch.
:D

okay, after school. town.
something to look forward to, finally.
went cotton on to try tops. then to taka to eat. hahahaha. the food was nice!
tried mooncakes. and GOSH, the way justina asked me to kop one greentea mooncake bit is damn funny i kept saying she was auntie.
=/

and oh, we signed up for volleyball as sports Elective! thanks to nanny whom informed us (:
HipHipHurray.
starts on 10/10 ends 09/01. (:
i still need to wait till a wednesday to get down doing some exercises. damn!
but volleyball leh. manz!:D boyf always laugh at me when we go down to sentosa and i cannot surf a ball. *grumbles.

today first lesson is IDEA. the name sounds boring enough alr.
and on a sidenote, im not eating FC6 strawberry donut anymore. i don't like.

2007-09-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

SCHOOL'S IN!
its sunday. and tmr is the first day of sem 2.
officially 1/6 into poly life.

sian i didnt really quite accomplish what i expected myself to at the beginning of the month long hols.
i didnt lose weight. in fact i think i gained weight. all that midnight snacking will add pounds to my value-added physique. =/

what am i so excited about? its just the same old stuff.
one thing to be happy is that i'll just need to wake up at 10am on monday morning but sch ends at 5 with 3 hours of marketing tutorial.

no more shopping once school starts.
twice a month only. yay. will do just that. (:

2007-09-21T07:32:00.000-07:00

so bored. baby's clubbing away at zouk with his squadmates.

he said there are indians going and he laughed it off.

yeah, i dont understand why its funny too.

he promised me that he knows how to be a man and told me not to worry about him. (:

anyway, went to bugis today with juan and nanny! nanny decided to do something to change her image. so tadah, DYE + HIGHLIGHT!

We got introduced to this alien looking, heat emitting red light object that revolves on nanny's head. she looks so amused by it. but not exactly nice to be under it. especially when she had to go though all that bleaching three times. over and over and over again. OMG.

YIKES!

look at those aluminium foil on her head. it went on for nearly 4 hours.

So us?

yeah, we wer damn bored, we walked around bugis village more than 4 times.

and we took pictures!

its meant to be ugly.

this is the by product. all that bleaching done, than down to the final higlighting part. but we two were damn bored we left before we can even see the final product.

then i received an sms, "... i look like an old woman..."

hahahah! NANNY!

no matter hw old you look with your ash highlighted hair, you will forever be our dearest nanny :DDDDD

okay.

i shall wait for the boy to reach home. he said 3am.

lets wait.

2007-09-20T08:36:00.001-07:00

eh you're fucking irritating, you know?

i'm sorry. i made those calls to you after you hung up, and i just didnt want you to misunderstand. i was worried i thought you will be angry with me. i didnt mean to be irritating. its the last thing that i ever wanted to be.

I know you hate irritating people, people whom bugs you and call you every second or so, people whom bomb your phone with incessant phone calls, and people whom wouldnt give you a second of peace or two.

i don't ever want to be caught dead and labelled as being irritating. thank you for answering my call and telling me you're going to sleep. it made me feel better this way. i so look forward to seeing you tmr, i love you.

2007-09-20T06:32:00.000-07:00

the only thing that got the most exercise on my body this holiday,
is my mouth.

no shuddup not that, i know what you're thinking.
but because of eating.
peanut butter toast, digestive biscuits with chocolate, bowl of ice cool honeydew sago, delectable prawn mee with extra chilli, dear's sweet little packet of blueberry biscuits, milk tea with extra pearls and.. three scoops of chocolate mint, chocolate and strawberry ripples with fudge and colourful sugary icings.

for breakfast and lunch.
what in the world happened to my diet?!?!?!?!?!

YAY ANYWAY IM MEETING MY THREE LOVELIES TMRRR!!
although it would be my third trip down to bugis this week.
*prances around in little circles.
we are so going to take pictures! i missssss them and havent seen them ever since school closed.
OHMYYYZ.
and oh, same ranting. i just bought six new tops online.
kbye!

2007-09-19T02:08:00.000-07:00

being at home is boring.
except painting my nails and putting on some senseless nail art,
thinking of what to wear to school next week (shit, its my bad habit)
and going to the kitchen every half an hour to search for food to eat,
ive got nothing else to do.

i thought today was thurs. so when i went to the mrt stn a while ago to buy my bloody $45 concession for MRT, i happily told the uncle to start my concession on friday (which i thought was tmr) but who knows..

so i shouldnt go out tmr. i shall stay home and continue irritating my mum who said she's better off without me around in the house. damn damn. and whenever i tell her im going out, she will ask me to come home asap. grrrk.

i need to find some more tuition assignments to do since timetable's out and im more than free on weekdays.
im so happy i found the link with movies uploaded on it, and i did much catching up on movies this holidays.
till date, i watched (free of charge somemore. shiok) :

Scary movie 1, 2, 3, 4.
ratatouille
Date movie
John tucker must die
final destination 2
Epic movie
simpson's movie
the devil wears prada
mean girls
material girls

hahahaha. i saved so much on movie tickets!
and i realised i love watching chick flicks, shows with gore and blood, cute cartoons and shows that can make me laugh my intestines off.

i forever cannot understand shows like harry potter. pirates of the carribean, such genre. they make me snooze in the cinema. and no extremely chilling movies like wishing stairs blah.

im going to watch she's the man now! and maybe superman tmr.
oh, and SAW I and II :D
bye!

2007-09-18T05:29:00.000-07:00

somebody wanted me to go to dover for her laptop's sake.
thank god T2248 isnt open so we headed down to marina instead(:

bought (finally) my white pair of slippers!
yay yay yay.
and yellow earrings yellow bangle blue nail polish.
see what i mean. i always buy stuffs when i go out with anyone but xiuling. its SO WEIRD.

anyway,
walked from marina sq to bugis then sat down at MOS to drink milkshake wheeeeeee.
their milkshake are fantabulous. creamy, sweet and delicious.
and only for $2! :D
we were very happy girls today, because she get to meet her bf and i got to go home as tuition's cancelled(:
slacked my ass off.

i shall study stats tmr.
no, i mean catch up on stats.

and school's starting soon

2007-09-17T20:02:00.000-07:00

went town and bugis with xiuling yesterday :D
intended to buy my yellow tube yellow covered shoes yellow bangle and yellow earrings, but in the end i got NONE :) she was the one whom ended up spending HEHE. this always happen when i go out with her. somehow.

so next time when i want to save up, i know who to look for! GRINS.

anyway, baby slept without talking to me last night and he was extremely tired. poor boy. but i waited till 2am for him to call, and i also slept late. poor girl.

have tuition later at 4pm. TIRED.
my eyes feel sore and my head feels heavy.
bye anyway, huijuan's waiting for me at sch!

2007-09-15T06:07:00.001-07:00

i bought my purple pair of fbts. thats for the NAPFA test in year3.
goodnessgolly, i wonder if im even fit enough to run in two years time when im omfg, 20.
twenty years old.
TWENTY!
thats when pores in my bones start widening, my brown hair starts hibernating and turning to grey, my heartbeat beats slower, i start counting down to the day when i hit 30 and realise that ive survived for two whole decades.

ok back to napfa test.
i hope i still can run when im 20. and the rest of the class's only 19. shit why why why put it during year 3?! make it complusory for the guys to run 6.4km and the girls just finish their 5 stations and go home. (:

im so hooked on being a teacher i keep visiting MOE website every few days. i hope they wouldnt stop recruiting teachers till the day i graduate from poly. what if im so determined to be one, and they suddenly like, STOP recruiting on just that fateful day i graduate?! i will die. right.on.the.spot.

TEACHER TRAINING SCHEMES FOR 'A' LEVEL AND DIPLOMA HOLDERS
The National Institute of Education (NIE) at the Nanyang Technological University (NTU) conducts degree courses leading to the award of Bachelor of Arts (Education) or Bachelor of Science (Education). These degree courses provide a rounded University education through rigorous exposure to 1/2 academic subject(s) and training in the skills needed to teach in Primary/Secondary schools.

ENTRY REQUIREMENTS
Applicants must have:
a) 5 GCE 'O' Level passes including a pass in English as a First Language
b) A pass in Mathematics obtained either at the GCE 'O' Level or GCE 'A' Level Examination
Polytechnic Diploma Holders may also apply for admission to NIE

2) Applicants should also have a minimum grade of 'D7' either in Malay / Chinese / Tamil taken at the GCE 'A' Level Examination or in Higher Malay / Higher Chinese / Higher Tamil taken in the GCE 'O' Level Examination. Those who do not meet this requirement will be admitted on a provisional basis. During the course of study in the University, they will be required to meet the requisite minimum language requirements before they are allowed to graduate.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sia lah. Bachelor of Arts sounds so smart. HENG SIA. HENG I TOOK HIGHER CHINESE. omgPHEW.
I shall teach English and Geography. but i heard chinese teachers are paid higher. my chinese also not bad what.

i shall study my highway code first, taking the test yeahzz!:DD

2007-09-14T08:46:00.001-07:00

i was so hyped up about today's sentosa trip.
then,
it started to rain.

shit always happen.
i even packed my portable speakers and charged the mp3 player,
asked around for shades and picnic mats,
prepared all the toiletries into my big huge brown bag.

then it rained, this afternoon.
sighz.

anyway walked vivo w cherie,
shopped as usual and ehhh, talked too about our boy-, and girlfriend(:

not really in the mood to blog.
i shall be optimistic about next school semester,
and live a more planned life instead of letting nature take its own course.
like what baby said,
its only the first semester in year 1 and my results are,
atrocious.
that shouldnt happen to a JC drop-out.
okay, maybe it should.
i was happy about poly after handing the withdrawal form so proudly last year,
i promised all my friends i will live it up in poly.
like, study hard and play hard.
all i get was,
i DID play hard, but i DIDNT really study my hardest.

yes, i had my fair trips down to the library and mugging sessions.
but what i really needed was probably,
100% attention AND attendance during lectures and tutorials.
whoever said poly's slack?
that person needs a whack. (okay, that wasnt meant to rhyme. but it did.)

so, the new school term.
i shall plan my after-school activities wisely, incorporate tuition lessons + boyfriend days into it.
and i promise i will do every single tutorial studiously, and read every single lecture at night. i will not spend my living hours thinking of what to wear to school (especially when apparently only I care about it), but doing my tutorials. and that includes boring stats which took up 2 hours on precious wednesday.

and i will cure my habit to shop, and i shall only shop twice a month. yes, i believe i can do it. twice a month, twice a month, twice a month.
i shall work hard at new subjects like, marketing since all i care about is appearances. pun intended:]

off to sleeep,
a visit to ssdc + tuition lesson tmr.

2007-09-12T08:31:00.000-07:00

sometimes you cannot blame me for thinking too much.

im going to the beach!

2007-09-11T08:02:00.000-07:00

she told me to be as thin as her, and took a full length shot of herself (with her skinny legs as limelight) with my phone. its now the first picture i see when i go to my picture gallery.
SHE'S MAD, being 45kg has ruined her brain.
how can i be as thin as her?!

like, my legs are twice hers.
to make myself feel better, my legs were thrice hers 3 years ago. *BIG GRIN.
anyway, Lim Huijuan i will kop your superman ring one fine day when you are not looking muhahahaha. dont keep haolianing to me about your ring okay? mine isnt that bad either. we're supposed to have similiar rings! so i cant believe it when you didnt get one superman ring for me you dingdong.

walked bugis street with her and saw many many many cheap stuffs.
poor girl suffering from the whammy of backdated period pains, so didnt talk much today.
rest well and let your blood flood you. hahahahaha.

knitex.

2007-09-11T07:48:00.001-07:00

everytime you made me smile,

i cry the next moment.

but magically, you made me smile the next.

i didnt spend today!
okay, i did. for my 3 colourful new undies:D

i need 2 more pairs of slippers in white and black, 2 new not-so-short skirts, 5 3 more new tops, 1 pair of new covered shoes and 6 4 more pairs of cute undies to make me feel even more complete(:

and i promise i will stop spending for the month. this entry shall be my mark. everytime i manage to get something i mentioned here, i shall strike it off. (:
YAY! im mad.

2007-09-10T21:58:00.001-07:00

i met two new friends at bugis yesterday, both from NP while at this shop looking for shorts haha.
they are so friendly! we walked bugis street together, then went to topshop. didnt exchange numbers though.
anyway, spent AGAIN. bought electric blue skinnies for a stupid 30 bucks. i think i got conned, damn. should have gone to another shop to buy instead of that stupid shop. and a skirt, for 18. baby said, girls should wear skirts. HAHAHA. tadah.
saw Xiaxue too. she's really short, plus, her makeup is damn damn heavy. she's petite but fleshy and my new friend said shes freaking ugly.
HAHEHHAHA.

so broke, i had to resort to working at oriental hotel at just 5.50/hr.
going for interview later but im too lazy to move. lucky juan's going with me. i always feel better with her around.
but, no more shopping.
:D

2007-09-09T09:58:00.000-07:00

i talked to desiree on msn just now.
she always set me thinking.

desiree: oei, do you dress safe?
joy: wtf you talking?
desiree: pls be polite honey.
joy: wtf?
desiree: i mean, do you wear what others wear?
joy: me no understand. elaborate.
desiree: like mass produced stuffs.
joy: why you ask sia. you no like me dressing?
desiree: curious only. you see, so many people sell things that look similiar, at high prices even. but people just love snapping them up even though they are conscious of the fact that everyone's wearing it.
joy: yah. then do you dress safe?
desiree: i dont dare to dress safe.
joy: huh. elaborate
desiree: like i see stuffs that people dont usually buy, like those with huge weird prints or those that dont look mass produced, and i buy 'em. sadly, ken always say i look fugly in them just because i was the first one to wear it.
joy: uh huh. lucky nengtian doesnt always comment on me dressing though he sometimes do.
desiree: mm yup. i neednt wear factory produced stuffs to look nice rite?
joy: yup, you end up shopping at high end boutiques where obviously you cant afford to have mass produced stuffs retailing.
desiree: so true. you always say you're pretty. so do you dress safe.
joy: uh. i don't know. i think so?

YAH,
i think i dress safe.
unlikes justina and her victorian looking dress.

but, you have to dress safe to look nice and into the crowd right?
people will give you stares if you dress out-of-the-norm and that equals not pretty.

2007-09-08T02:59:00.000-07:00

12/09/07 - release of SEM results.
16/09/07- Application for GEM.

i dont feel stressed now about my results, perhaps a bit.
because ive straightened my route and im going to be a teacher!

Oh, my tuition kid says she's very bored during the lesson.
die, someone HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!

2007-09-06T08:11:00.000-07:00

and i just spent nearly a hundred on clothes again.
i think im mad or something.
some cork's unscrewed up in that brain of mine.
no no,
it must be the clothes.
they are too expensive and after getting 3 pieces,
i whine to myself that im spending way too much again.

so yeah, it isnt my spending habits.
its just the clothes that are way too expensive.
no what.
clothes are priced like that.
i cant be paying only 10 bucks for a pretty top, can i?
its kind of expected that a top will blow me off by at least $30.
and its an average top.
so, whats wrong with me?
or the clothes im buying?!?!

Anyway i had bad period cramps today and im still drinking ice cold A&W.
yea blood, come on and just flood me once and for all.
EWW.
spent like 3 hours in front of computer today planning my future ahead.
ive thought about it.
i'm not doing tourism anymore.
im not going to be in the tourism sector,
neither will I be part of the glitz and glamour of the Marina Bay IR.

I shall..
become the windows of a kid's soul.
the guiding light to a child's world,
the engineer to mould my nation's future,
and the pillar of strength for the future prime ministers.

limpeh shall become a teacher.

in case you are laughing, STOP.
im serious. i shall get my tourism diploma and apply into NIE, undergo training for two years. then graduate with diploma in education and teach primary school kids.
theres a training for four years to teach sec sch kids but siao, i must be mad to teach people like who i am last time. my white hair will grow out faster. i rather teach seven years old how to count with their wriggly toes.

(:

I'm a teacher.
Lets start with my tuition kid. i think she likes me. she laughs a lot when im teaching her.
oh wait, maybe theres something on my face.

2007-09-05T09:40:00.000-07:00

just came back from the liondance comp at taka, watch baby's team competed.
it was great, although they didnt did as expected. everything's different without baby competing. HEHE.
anyway, its over and oh im so happy to come home cos my legs are sore and sore, and sore, from all that standing.

accompanied him to an ulu polyclinic to take his MC in the afternoon,
and proudly stands on thee weighing machine to show me his new weight.
hahahaha,
okay fine.
the one hour long waiting time,
was spent on me trying to find ways to entertain him.
the wait is super long lah! and the doctor seriously talks too much.

and i got my pay.
*jumps about wildly, holding the half torn cheque in my left hand
bought the grey cardi from cotton on which ive been bio-ing ever since i stepped into there,
to reward myself(:
shopped a lil with fong, im so glad to see her again after god knows how long.
talked about our boyfriends, the futures with them,
and dined at macs.
lying on her shoulders and listening to her talk was fun,
because she's too short for comfort HAHAHAHA.

i nearly thought she was going to leave me alone waiting for her at Bugis,
when i called + smsed her to no replies.
but thank god she turned up, was so touched when i see her walking towards me i just started rambling on and on when i saw her,
and told her about how i really thought she was not coming for good.
I have had enough of fucking "girlfriends" whom do a No-Show at the last minute and leave me alone, hanging, waiting for a fucking phonecall thats taking eons to come. you date me the next round, im gonna do a fucking disappearing act and let you lick up your own pee.
Damn.

okay back to topic.
baby's goin to join the competition next year.
im so going to be excited + nervous + estatic like last year when i watched him compete at taka.
the feeling..
is omg,
delirious.
just like...
when ive just swallowed a million, six hundred ninety-seven thousand, two hundred and eighty-two tonnes of marijuana.

Oomph.

2007-09-02T23:07:00.001-07:00

i think im the most horrible finance manager of personal wealth- ever.
prior to shopping, i draw up a list that i make myself swear to follow religiously by, but when i reach home and dump all the big big small small shopping bags on my bed and whip out a piece of paper to record down what nonsense i bought, what i wrote down just scares me off, more often than not.

and this week, yours truly just blew $238.50 on shopping. ALONE. both online and offline. SHIAT. someone throw my bank book into my face and holler and me pls. and the worse part, i STILL complain to mum that I dont have enough clothes before I leave the house. poor mummy, she has to end up telling me how poor she was when living in broken down atap houses eons ago, and end up saying my allowance's actually more than enough.

which is true.
NOT.
I should learn to save up and not keep depending on my allowance.
allowance = food + transport + okay, occasional 1, 2 pieces of new clothes.
but now,
allowance = 10 new tops and 2 new bottoms.
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?!?!

ARGH.
okay, so me and the boy went shopping at far east on saturday last week, forked out half for his adidas shoes. he ah, also another one. we didnt even plan to buy the shoes. like, if he did plan, we would spend perhaps, 3 months? talking about it and it would be our main topic when we talk on the phone each night. but now, we also blew what we have on his spanking crisp pair of adidas shoes. we simply walked into the shoes shop, he pointed out that pair.
blue based, pink stripes.

Girl: its not bad. why leh.
Boy (looks up and down the shoe boxes) its the last pair in my size, dear.
Girl: OH WOW. YOU WANT?
Boy: yah lor, i confirm can wear.
Girl: You better try first.
Boy (did a balancing act):There, told you i can wear.
Girl: okay good. lets buy it.

thank god i think its pretty, or i will be grumbling all the way home.
And so, half of my food money flew.

someone just throw both our bank books into our faces and holler at us!
SIGHSIGH.
and huijuan also another one. keep saying this nice that nice and makes me want to spend more when im already spending a lot, much more than she can see. ONLINE.

okay, this is a case of negative peer influence, hahaha.
getting my telemarketing pay on Wednesday! HAHAHAHAHA.
I hear a sigh of relief coming from somewhere up in that brain of mine.

Im off to shop online!
BYE!

2007-08-31T08:10:00.001-07:00

today's a wonderful friday.

NO MORE DISGUSTING TELEMARKETING TO DO,

met the Boy, had homecooked food for dinner.

passed him his brand new polo tee i ordered online,

and briefs plus a huge pack of wangwang

friday is so worth looking forward to. *Huge smile*

i'm starting on my new tuition assignment tmr!

i hope my new tuition kid is nice and does her homewrk and most importantly,

doesnt complain about me to her mother(:

Had a short talk with mummy today, she was thinking of setting up a home tuition centre where we can get kids to come to our little home and have tuition.

i told her i will tutor the lower primary while she tutor the upper primary kids.

looking at me with eyes as big as the walnut, she said: WHAT? NO!

and so we digressed onto something else despite my attempts to pull her back to the main topic.

but hmmm, its a good idea.

we can supplement our income this way also.

(this part of entry deleted!!)

reason being: the boy doesnt want me to think about it at all. :(

2007-08-28T15:05:00.000-07:00

telemarketing is the most boring and brainless job in the whole wide world, only suitable for people with skin as thick as the bull's, and with an unlimited attention span.

WHY IN THE WORLD DID I FIND THIS FUCKING BORING JOB AND GET MYSELF EMBROILED IN-- BOREDOM?!

who cares about surveys? who cares about getting at least three surveys done per day? i made 70 calls but only one miserable australian did the survey with me.
i have to suffer hunger pangs to wait till lunch time,
i have to hide myself in one corner like i have autism,
and i have to SLANG like an angmoh wannabe when i speak to them.
and i have to use my brain juice to think hard on what the person at the other line is trying to telll me,
and more often than not, i end up "Sorry?" and "Huh?" instead of "I-beg yuur par-darn maize."

thank god i found another job in sales and the boss is willing to take me back.
$6/hr this time but at least time passes MUCH faster.
im pulling Huijuan along with me because she's as bored, and her partner is black.
SHIT. i should have listened to those whom said "telemarketing is the most boring job ever. you sure you wanna do it?"

three more days to go.
I really, really felt like puking.
Fuck goddamn it.

2007-08-26T15:08:00.000-07:00

OHMYGOD. do you know you can actually calculate your marriage age!?
Here goes!!

[x] I know how to make a pot ofcoffee..nescafe 3 in 1
[ ] I keep track of dates using acalender.
[ ] I own more than one credit card.
[ ] I know how to change the oil in acar. What's acar?!
[x] I know how to do my own laundry.
[ ] I vote every election.
[ ] I can cook for myself. But getting the house burnt down in the process;)
[ ] I think politics are exciting
[ ] I balance my checkbook.
[ ] My parents have better things to say than my friends.
Total:2

[ ] I show up for school/college/workevery day early. On the dot = early?
[ ] I always carry a pen in mypocket/purse.
[ ] I've never gotten a detention.
[X] I have never smoked a cigarette. Good Girl.
[ ] I have never gotten completelytrashed.
[ ] I have forgotten my own birthday at least once.
[x] I like to take walks by myself
[x] I've watched talk shows.
[x] I know what 'credibility' meanswithout looking it up. Who doesnt?! Oh, you? *tsktsk.
[X] I drink coffee at least once aweek.
Total:5

[x] I know how to do the dishes
[x] I can count 1 to 10 in anotherlanguage.
[ ] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
[x] My parents trust me.
[ ] I can mow the lawn. I have no lawns to mow WHEE!
[x] I can make adults laugh withoutbeing stupid.
[ ] I remember to water the plants. I have no plants to water WHEE!
[x] I study when I have to.
[ ] I pay attention at school/college.
[ ] I remember to feed my pets. I have no pets to feed WHEE!
Total:5

[x] I can spell 'experience' withoutlooking it up Who cant? Er, you again? *tsktsk.
[ ] I work out on a regular basis.
[x] I clean up my own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know me byname.
[ ] My favorite kind of food is takeout.
[ ] I have gained weight sincemiddle/high school.
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake upis get caffeine.
[x] I can go to the store withou tgetting something I don't need.
[ ] I understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[x] I can type quickly.
Total:4

[ ]I have realized that the weatherforecast changes every hour. OHMY! REALLY?!
[ ] My only friends are from my placeof employment.
[ ] I have been to a tupperware party What's that? a party you play with tupperwares?!
[ ] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are overthe age of 25 and have a job. Eh not really. look at Xiaxue.
[ ] I have more bills than I can pay.
[ ] All(most) my friends are olderthan I am.
[x] I can say no to staying out all night.
[x] I use the internet every day.
[ ] My wardrobe hasn't changed in awhile.
[ ] I can read a book and actuallyfinish it. HAHA DEFINITELY NO. because, i dont read!
Total:2

total:
therefore, the age i will marry is = 18

?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?WTH!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I hereby acclaim this as therefore inaccurate.

now choose 5 whom have to do this too:
vivian
huijuan
jordan
hanwee
xiuling

HAHEHOHAHEHOHAHEHO!

2007-08-25T04:02:00.000-07:00

brought sis down for her haircut some few seven hours ago,
and seven hours later she is still making frequent trips to the mirror to admire her new haircut.
2 years please,
she didnt cut her hair in two years.
finally today she told me to bring her for a haircut.
whoa,
mum's so pleased shes going for a haircut, she immediately shoved two $10 bills into sis' hands. fine, waking up at 9 plus in the morning and dragged down to the salon isnt so fun.
but anyway, i benefited too!
i surreptitously pocketed the change from the hairdresser's.
HE HE HE.

starting work soon next monday,
im glad the hols are here.
i need the moolah to fuel my excessive spending lor.
look at my bank account and the wallet. havent even work and its depleting like mad.
but the job isnt so fun and breezy too,
im tasked to call australia and new zealand for some IT survey shiat,
and the form has so many IT jargon like, IDSL? WLAN? SaaS?
so complicating.
and cannot cheat lor. cannot fill in the forms like as if i really called.
they actually record and audit each and every call made.
-.-
but the commission is orgasmic.
$5 for every 4 surveys done, and $5 extra for every more than 4 surveys done.
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

but we were forewarned that it isnt easy making those calls,
especially when australians are really hot tempered people,
and they view call agents as anti christ aka waste of time.
so actually if i can hit one teeny weeny pathetic survey in 1 day i thank god liao.

Haiz.
okay continue later.

2007-08-22T00:59:00.000-07:00

when i get my pay,
i will:

set 60% and chuck it into my bank and if i touch a single cent, thou shalt chop off my hands.

take 40% and divide them respectively like shown below:
50% to mum.
10% into the hungry ever since i was fourteen- piggy bank.
20% to a big meal with the boy.
20% to shopping, which i don't think is enough.

:)
i will readjust, see my pay.
going for interview tmr with huijuan:D
godblessus.

last paper to go!

2007-08-21T04:46:00.001-07:00

my room is in such a tidy mess.

its small with lots of stuffs, but neat, making everything look messy.

oh wells,

maybe its because of the colour dis-coordinations. and mismatchs everywhere.

its a daunting task to tidy up my room and get all my stuffs spanking into boxes pls!

i should have worn a face mask so i wouldnt end up sneezing and using so much tissue paper, adding to the already-very-full wastepaper basket.

if there was an invisible dust-o-meter, my room would have hit the 100% mark on the meter.

i realised i have so much thrash in the drawers and shelves, i couldnt belive it myself man.

earrings, necklaces, books, files and bags thrown everywhere.

who can live in such a horrible space!

I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING!

and so i went ikea tamp with huijuan yesterday, spent a grand total of $25.80 there. $1.70 for the delicious hotdog and superduper gassy yet tasteless 7-up, and the rest on boxes, dogbowls, and extra storage spaces for my tiny asylum. not bad, at least better than someone whom spent like $40 on boxes- aka cold, hard, lifeless cardboard. HOR, JUSTINATOK?

ok, went home and spent like 2 hours clearing up my room, mopped it up after everything's done. like, finally. if i were to move house again, i would decorate my own room. like, look at ikea's showroom. OH MY GOD. the room is tinier than mine but its DAMN pretty pls.

i wish i had a designer flair in moi. => i would transform the small land area into the cosiest and most productive haven ever.

HEHEH. productive.

*GIGGLES.

and i lack clothes.

I NEED TO WORK.

2007-08-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

MET THE BOY! went to tiong bahru plaza for a short walk before heading home.

his 2nd bro came today, and he's very friendly! at least he smiles and talks to me unlike the biggest bro.
and i love that ralph lauren bag his dasao gave me! actually, she's quite nice. HAHAHA.
some pictures taken!

OOH HEH HEH.

While waiting outside the toilet for his friend to finish his business.

I said: You better take the slimmest angle of me hor.

He said: Take a nice one hor.

:D
5 more kg to go,
30 more kg to go.

YAY.

2007-08-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

no, i so don't look like barney in purple jeans.
mum and sis say its Fugly.
baby says it looks fine.
i tried explaining to mum that its because she seldom goes down to town so she doesnt know how the people nowadays dress.
no use.
she went on to say how auntie i look, and that she saw old people wearing purple bottoms before.

an innocent daughter whom tries to retort: BUT MUM IM WEARING SKINNIES!
a determined mother: skinny? skinny? skinny so? so old fashion.
an innocent daugher getting irritated: mum, pronounce skinny-s. not skinny, can?
an even more determined mother: up to you, auntie.

from my collection of granny cardigans to my vintage sling bag to my big retro earrings. all kena her. and so she yakked on.. and on... and on... and on...

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

PTH-last paper to go.
yes like what nanny mentioned,
its 25 chapters,
of bullshit.
fuggggggg the lady in gold satin bottom with revealing g-string.
:/

2007-08-16T18:56:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY TO MUMMY. YESTERDAY. !

AND A BELATED 17TH BIRTHDAY TO JOHN.

woke up so early this morning,
because of a silly prank caller.

".....tian......caught fighting......"

the dots are there because i totally couldnt catch what the malay guy was trying to say. and the number is from a residential number, which means it has a 6 in front. means it should be real right? he couldnt have gotten access to any land line in PA what. got me so worried like an anxious ant, i called baby's friend whom was from PA.

"EH SIAO LIAO. he kena caught fighting. tio confinement huh?"

YA RIGHT.
later this number called again and baby was on the other line.

scared the shit out of me pls. do duty then do duty lah, why must prank call me. woke me up at 8 plus in the morning when i should have slept till 11 plus.
GRRR.

going down for interview later.
and the rest are getting jobs that are like much better paying!
$7-$8/hr.
humph.
but f&b? ERRRR.
im afraid i will spill water on a guest then he complain about me.
sales line's so much safer. no liquids to deal with.
HAHEHAHEHOHAHEHEHO.

2007-08-16T06:54:00.000-07:00

purple skinnies rock my world.

purple has such a big influence in my life.

when i was in pri sch, i was in the purple house.

i went for the silly trials and heats. i skipped running once, and the teacher came knocking on my classroom door asking me to go down for training. hahaha. and during that time i was in the taf club.

my friend asked me once,"how come u in taf club still can run so fast?"

hahahaha. damn you girl tho i have no idea which sch you are in now.

anyway.

i finally bought my first ever, orgasmic pair of purple skinnies.

they are a few million times more orgasmic than fc6 fruit tarts.

they're like, omgwthnathan-PHWOARRR! like, damn pretty. the babies say the colour's nice. AWWWW i love them.

AND at $25 its quite a steal..
I SHOULD HAVE PLUCKED UP THE COURAGE TO GET THE RED ONES TOO ARGH!

but nvm,

at least ive gotten my purple pair.

i still want, light blue. grey. red. green.

HAHAHAHA i talk like my dad prints currency notes.

and talking abt that,

2 papers down,

1 more to go!!!!!

and one picture for the day!

nanny's red punk avril looking tie tee, damn chio.

oh i wanted to chop off the extra hovering head figure in the background but i dono how to get started. but, nothing significant lah so..

HAHAHAHA.

we went ikea today, had hotdogs.

AND OH OH,

WE SAW KENKWAN AND SIM KIAN HO sharing lunch, tucked away in a couple booth.

hhahehahehhehahahe.

YOU GUESS WHAT THEY'RE DOING HOR.

and today was just pure enjoyment without getting weighed down by econs or accounts.

we shall go back pennisular plaza one day!

as quoted by Huijuan.

HOW LOVELY.

2007-08-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

i finally cleared and edited my links. although only two people were involved (yes you vivian and hanwee), but its so troublesome i actually evaded from doing it ever since i started to blog.
anyway, econs' tmr. god bless me please.
and im so damn broke. i cant help but harp on it.
and i really need to work to get the $$$.

no one gets by without any goals. i shall make my own. when i check back in 5 weeks time i hope im at least halfway through. hahahahaha.

during the hols, i shall:
eat lesser and work my ass off.
catch up on sickening stats.
get a real good tan (not at the beach though =X)
run at least 3km every morning.
meet up with at least 4 old time favourite friends (excluding my current clique)
learn how to put makeup (YA. I WILL HAMMER YOU IF YOU LAUGH)

by the end of hols, i shall :
emerge at least 2 kg lighter.
buy my long waited red jeans green shorts and tees, total sum not exceeding SGD200.
also emerge at least 800$ richer.

YAY. i will add more if i think of more :D

2007-08-13T23:43:00.000-07:00

happy 18th birthday to xiuling!

may you get a new boyfriend this coming year,

may you get all the LVs in the world,

and a bigger bed so you can put 1847328569 Hello Kittys on it.

right, 1 paper down,
2 more to go.
i have, 6 kg more to go.
he has, 30 kg more to go.

HA.HA.HA.
its stressful losing weight. more stressful than figuring econs.
i ate laxatives. digestive biscuits. drank lots of water. i heard getting stomach flu and landing in hospitals can get 5kg off your weight.
i figured out what to do next, till mum told me to get a life, and exercise.
yeah, exercise.
oh wait till i go for my interview, get a job, work for a month, receive my pay, and get a brand new pair of cross trainers from nike.
:D
by then..

i have, (*insert astronomical figure here*) kg more to go.

SIGH.
6kg's really THAT hard to lose. when i was 65kg, i detested the number 6. and now although im 10kg ligher, i detest the number 5.
:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

2007-08-12T05:42:00.000-07:00

and so its sunday again,

he goes back into camp.
tomorrow is accounting paper.
god bless me. please.
shall sleep my ass off when i come home on monday night.
and study econs on tues and wed.
after econs its finally PTH. i havent even started collating the notes, im still thinking if i should print the notes out since its already the end i ever study this module again.

and i saw the teenage mag with our faces on it.
like. damn.
the photographer took what? 3, 4 shots?
and why did he damn chose that fugly picture where i look like a duck.
argh. dad told me to buy the magazine as a memory but i was so devastated i shook my head.
anyway,
my phone cannot transfer photos into comp, and i don't know why.
it mus be pms-ing on me again.
so i cant transfer the pics ive taken the past few days.

only one for the lonely weekdays upcoming.

my left ball is bigger than my right.
ack, i bet huijuan knows it.
haha
*GIGGLES.

vivan you so dont look swollen can. lol!
justina is so gonna be more upset because that day isnt her picture perfect day wahahaha.
and the picture is splashed on the centre of the page?
wow.
and to huijuan.
dont think ur neh big can haolian hor.
:P

who am i lying to anyway?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

2007-08-11T09:37:00.000-07:00

suddenly i miss my secondary and jc life. and friends.
jiangbin. boon. huili. felicia.
i have been too caught up in my life doing nothing i forgot about them.
maybe they forgot about me too.
i don't know.

i miss the times we went macs at payalebar after school.
the used-to-be 25cents vanilla cone,
the combo-1 from long john's,
the fish fillet meal and do-you-have-any-discount-coupons with you talks,
the bubble tea from parkway parade,
the honey milk tea with extra pearl,
the i-still-think-apple-iceblended-from-each-a-cup-is-the-best conversations,
the avoid-the-bakchormee-store-at-ny-during-breaks-and-eat-oiishi-instead,
and the oh-shit-its-tuesday-and-im-ponning-touchrugby thoughts.

ive been through so much,
i met so many people,
i ate so much shit.

i did things i never thought i would be doing.
i donated blood even though im afraid and when i saw huili convulsed and her lips turn purple i thought she was going to die. i went through tortorous h2 chem and maths lessons. the two teachers whom blackmarked me. one calls me "joint" the other calls me all the time during chem lessons and imitates the way i say "i don't know.".
i saw the ugliest people that could ever survive on earth.
and that includes the nyjc librarian from hell.

but till today
im still here.
i achieved nuts.
i can picture myself telling my grandchildren that in my whole life, my achievement was to win the secondary 1 higher chinese compo writing.
and i can imagine them gawk, then ask,
"ah ma, thats all?"

shit.

2007-08-09T19:16:00.000-07:00

rush hour 3 is so funny! :D
i love watching action movies with eye candy.

waited for him and his friend to come town, for nearly 4 hours(!).
went wisma and taka, bought a new formal shirt for only 23$, and its from G2000!
HAHAHA. im too broke to buy anything else, window shopped the usual shops.
bah.
it sucks to be poor. didnt go far east because it was quite far and i thought he's coming by already, but no, actually i would still have time to go far east and walk a few rounds. but well, no point too, since i don't have the moolahs.

anyway;
heard this taiwan woman complaining about singaporeans whom don't move their butts to the left side of the escalator when moving up or down. her friend asked why singaporeans need to move left, and she said its because we follow the americans, because it appears that in her country, they were supposed to stand right.

Oh.I.See.
just as i was lauding myself for gaining an extra piece of general knwldge through unethical eavesdropping, she said, "but well, singaporeans cant be bothered anyway. damn fed-up."

Hm?

I turned to look at her and she looked away.
shiat.
i mean its quite true anyway. i have been stopped by some inconsiderate people when im rushing for trains or rushing to get home before the curfew. but its the first time i heard a foreigner criticising singaporeans in singapore, in a public place and quite loudly.
lucky me no ah lian else i will rip off her skin and suck off her blood.
and yesterday was even national day. LOL.

happy bday singapore!

2007-08-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

boyfriend is a rich boy.

he spent less than 10 minutes at Gucci DFS today, and walked out with a spanking new wallet, and away flies his $400.

and he said that if he were to have a blog, he will write, "girlfriend is very ngiao".

GRRRRRRRR.

we wore very lok kok today, but thats what he wanted to see if the people there will serve us or not. but this auntie very friendly leh, she walked up to us to help when she saw us looking at those displays. and when we walked to pay, she even asked me if i want to buy some metallic gucci handphone straps. HAHA. eh, sorry sia. not i rich. the boy beside me is.

anyway, pictures.

wha this must have something go to do with marketing.

gold shiny plastic bag = superiority.

*shakes head.

eh haolian sia, got new wallet liao give that smirk?

I dont like, take again!

Like that better!

I like this picture! :D :D

walked fareast today.

and im touched, really.

you do not know but its these little things you forgo for my sake,

that made me really appreciative of you.

2007-08-06T21:15:00.000-07:00

some weird girl added me to friendster. she looks familiar but i don't recall seeing her before. searched my memory database but no, i can't match her face to anyone ive rmbred seeing for the past few years. looked through her profile but she has no matching schools with mine. hmm? weird people always set me thinking.

anyway, met up with xiuling yesterday. talked alot, esp about this freerider in her group. like what nanny said before, she's thankful there's no freeriders in our class. yes, of course. :) freeriders are hard to handle!
talked a lot, about our classes and such. there's so much differences in our classes, im starting to feel envious of her. often, during our conversation, i shut off and struggled to think of good things about my clique and my class to console myself, but somehow i just fail terribly, and it isnt long before i start telling her how lucky she is to be in a great class with great friends, only one blacksheep or two.

perhaps tourism isnt sucha great course to be in.
if i have gotten into a course like biz admin, i would probably be with jerlyn. she often tells me stories about her class too, but they are kind of boring as well.

hell i always end up in wrong schools and wrong classes.
short periods of time are the funnest but they end so quickly. like during first three mths in tpjc. i miss our seven flowers a hell lot, i miss ponning lessons, eating ya kun toast at white sands, and i miss studying with them at the library.

i dont mind suffering in the first part of my life with wrong schools and wrong people, but just give me a sweeter later part of my life with right employers and right working places, and that's just all i ask for.

:)

2007-08-05T18:06:00.000-07:00

omg, today is monday.
LIKE. NEXT. MONDAY. IS. PACC. TEST.

i'm going tp to study! and wait for xiuling to end school bfr we head down to bugis,
its been long ever since i met her up. keep pangsehing me lah, see. >:(
haiyah.
i need to study instead of slacking.
i must finish tutorial 8, 9, 10 and error correction today.
i must read finish Govt and its policies.
i must hhokays. even though i think i cannot.
off to bathe and to tp!

2007-08-05T07:47:00.000-07:00

happy 17th birthday to rebecca!
so nice to be seventeen.

sweet sweet seventeen.

im such an old woman.

omg, someone tell me im going to be 18 and in two years time im 20,

and going onto 30.

i got to make my life more enriching than ever now, i dont want to end up regretting when i grow old and wrinkled and my skin gets pruned up and no amount of neutrogena can help unfold my wrinkles. omg so ugly.

piangzzz.

2007-08-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

HA HA HA. Girls Out Loud's so freaking funny i laughed till my stomach hurts.
but i was surprised to hear xiaxue's deep-and-not-so-feminine voice. i expected her to have a sweet tinglish voice without any singapore accent since she writes well in her blog.
but well..
and whoa, rosalyn is hot :) i dig her star tattoo :D

Anyway, went shopping with the boy at bugis today. bought him berms. wanted to look for cap to fit his botak head, but cant find a situable one =X
AND I SAW SO MANY COLOURED SKINNIES!
ther's a shop selling at 30$ ! Like, CHEAP!
but i dont know which colour.
purple or red or pink or yellow or green?
he says purple or green.
i tried the purple one, and its pretty. but i like red.
someone in dtrm's wearing red.
yellow is cute.
but my legs are fat so i need dark deep tones.
pink is bimbotic so its out.
and that left purple and green, the same two choices he singled out for me :)

argh i don't know. probably i go again on monday to check it out :D

and, a miracle.
I WALKED LIKE A PERFECT HUMAN TODAY WITHOUT ANY SIGNS OF LIMPING.
and when i thought about my injured left ankle only when he pulled me as he walked damn fast down the stairs. i complained my ankle's painful, but he said "dont bluff la, you're not limping what."

heh, so true.
it feels perfect to walk normally.
i love that feeling :D

2007-08-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

i think i should be more discreet when talking to boyfriend especially when conveying something i don't like about his friend, because it really got me embarrassed yesterday.
it went like this:
we met his squadmates for dinner, and one of his friend brought along his girlfriend. so i whispered to bf, "eh, the girl beside me, your friend's gf, quite pretty hor." then he said, "not bad lah."

and after dinner was eaten, her bf took out a ciggie and started lighting it up. after which he passed the cig box to his gf. and i was looking at them all this while from the corner of my eyes. and even though i barely knew the girl, like, i didnt even know her name and age, but i was thinking, "no. no. no. don't ever open the box and take out a cig to smoke. no, no, NO!" i even convinced myself that, hell, she wouldnt take out a ciggie for her bf what.
her bf is already smoking right now. she doesnt need to smoke right?
like, she's so pretty, why does she need to smoke? it completely destroys everything!

but in a spilt sec, she was lighting up the cig in her hands.
HA. HA. HA.

i turn to boyfriend, and whispered into his ears, "i barely said she's pretty and whalaueh, she smokes?!" to which he replied, "aiyah, don't care la." and started shaking his head. i know he's turned off too.
then came the part.
hes friend said, "tian, your girlfriend mind us smoke issit?"
he didnt reply, but i turned and smiled and said," NO, NO.. its fine with me."
Yeah, who cares anyway. they are polluting me and bf's lungs, but no, no, it doesnt matter aye? passive smokers are twice as likely to die, but it doesnt bother them so long as the smoke doesnt get blown into our noses.

ARGH. enough of smokers.
I meet them everyday when i go to school.
We, in fact. got to stop breathing for eh, 1 minute? when we make our way up to SB.

Come to think of it, although 70% of the boy's friends smokes, he doesnt.
okay, make that 80%.
that made me conclude,
im helluva proud of the boy! :)

2007-08-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

wonderful friday!

met him around 7, drove us to simpang bedok for dinner with his squadmates. they're a bunch of fun people! they crapped and joked around with baby like they've known each other for ages :) ate lots there, fish&chips, meegoreng, roti john and milo. goodness, no wonder i never seem to slim down. :D

anyway today was also mrstan's last econs tutorial with us, and she's resigning already. actually, i think she has done more than she should, and being a teacher, she definitely put in much more effort than the other lecturers.

tell me, which teacher would risk being labelled by students as "terror", by randomly calling out students to present their answers in front of the whole cohort, or threatening to deduct participation marks when we are late? and which teacher would gladly handwrite notes for us even though we already have a set of lecture notes, just to ensure that we all know the topic better? and which teacher would be so responsible as to check every student's work, and take it seriously when we didnt do our work, or when we are late for class? yes, other lecturers DO scold us for not doing our work, but mrstan's serious about it. she made 2 hours of tutorial pass very fast, and i always feel so much enlightened after her tutorial.

thats why no matter how much i hate tutorials, i never, never, never skip econs. i used to thought econs was easy peasy. in jc i never fail to pass econs, at least with a C. but i realised i was missing out on so much, only when i came to poly and attended her lessons.

those steps she taught, were never mentioned or taken note in jc.

now that i think of it, all the other lecturers really really pale in comparison to her. we've learnt so much about her in these few months. although she loves to digress, her stories are always entertaining and the short few minutes are considered a relaxation, and takes my mind off econs for a short while.

it was sad to see her leave, but i know she had done more than she should, and benefited a lot of students in her teaching stint here at SP. we bought her a cake today to mark the last tutorial we've with her.

The chocolate cake (:

MrsTan: how am i going to cut this cake?

DTRM o4!

whalaueh i look like damn ugly, i need to hobble back to space after putting self timer. my ankle still pain sia. the selftimer went "tuk...tukk....tukkkk..." which is damn funny and as you can see im trying not to laugh =/

HAHA. chairman kena cake.
Huijuan : "Jordan you look better like that."

Thank you MRS TAN!

2007-08-01T01:52:00.001-07:00

lessons were boring today! but im glad we managed to pass them all:)
nothing much to blog about,
except..
my left ankle's killing me i wish i can just break it once and for all.

BUT WAIT.

if i break it,
i wouldnt be able to do anything for the rest of my life.
that includes walking, running after the bus or train, catching up with people in front of me, getting in time for econs tutorial, neither would i be able to join the amazing race or captain's ball match.

I WANT A WORKING LEFT ANKLE!
i will trade all the sweets and chocolates and tidbits and junkfood in the world for it, so please, return my ankle to me, to me!
:(

some pictures taken during the day!

relax la, later you choke on your $1 ice cream. so not worth it.

this is her 13324259506th pose (but first successful one) for the camera for the day.

She's always gibberish, but cute :)
(we all know its so not true luh)

thats all !:D:D

2007-07-29T03:49:00.000-07:00

its sunday again.
was raining like crazy from morning tilll afternoon,
met him at lavender,
i was late,
but surprisingly he wasnt angry, just complained all the way haha :)
rode both of us to eat, and along the way it started pouring =/
he gave me this extra extra large army raincoat to wear, which covered me all the way to my knees :D
bought food and left for home, and he was drenched from top to toe.
thanks my love!

i will miss you, see you next friday (:

2007-07-27T03:04:00.000-07:00

:D
we had fish & co at the outlet at wheelock. the new york fish & chips were fantastic, the chili cream sauce prawn spaghetti was fabulous. the service was great, the decor is wonderful, but the noise, was a big huge turn off. i had to scream to him to let him catch my point. but anyway, their cup of passionfruit ice blended was big. and i mean, reallyyyyy big. sorry for nt putting something there as a guage, but its really huge.

the botak.
thanks for the dinner, my love!

some pics taken during the week!

the smartest couple in dtrm04 :D

i was telling nanny how skinny her calves are,

until.. i saw the legs in background.

i hyperventilated :D

formal wear sucks, but they don't!

PTH is crap today.

i asborbed a lttle, then shut off. andrea slept thru! HAHAHAHA. i can't sleep la, cyy was looking at us most of the time gwarrrr.

and justina, get well soon! :D

2007-07-25T05:15:00.001-07:00

wednesday.
i skipped poa, walked aound the whole school with the girls. it wasnt exactly a great choice (esp when SP is so huge), but it beats better that staying and attending the stupid lecture. left after we managed to walk to dover mrt, which is like a miracle. saw the biggest fashion disaster in my entire 18 years of living. i laughed so much my stomach hurts. it probably made my day a little better.
sorry to the girl we laughed at. it was too much to stomach, seriously.
a reminiscence of the 60's i suppose. cropped grey tank top with pink trimings, and high waisted checkered skirt. the tank top jus ended a little under her boobs and her skirt started where the tank top ended. no, it wasnt meant to be hot to look at. it was just plain disastrous =/ especially when ALL of us find it funny, i don't see why its not funny lol.

some pictures taken during the week(:

HAPPY FEET :D

during boring ITAB =/

someone ask Justina to open her eyes?

Boring Stats. lecturer = nanny's man (:
spy the couple on the middle left hand corner! tsk tsk.
its the big guy in stripes and small girl in brown hahahaha.
gosh i sound like the paparazzi.

baby's coming out soon on fri, i wanna see him so much.

2007-07-24T08:08:00.000-07:00

You asked me this :

Where were you when i needed you the most?

I couldnt answer your question.

i thought I loved you enough, I though I treated you well..
And yet I couldnt answer that question that I thought I should.
im sorry if i let you down in any way.

i really want to be there for you when you need me,
when you meet problems and need my help.
I know i can be stupid sometimes,
but all i want is you to acknowledge my existence when you need someone to depend on.
I really love you,
so you cannot imagine how it hurts within when i heard that from you.
my heart feels like its been pierced, ripped and swallowed.

I can't blame myself enough.
I'm really sorry.

2007-07-23T08:36:00.000-07:00

something is wrong somewhere.

my heart doesnt feel right.

theres something lacking somewhere,

but i just cannot pinpoint what.

went to bugis to shop with the girlfriends:]
didnt buy anything except for the silicon casing & protection sheet.
i saw huijuan's bank acc bal and i thought,
its time for me to save up.
wonder how many months allowance will i take to save up as much as her. WAHAHAHA.
im relieved albeit guilty mum and dad has a savings account for me.
its their money still, and i don't feel right using it,
although they kept saying the money is ultimately for me and sis.

will cut back on my spending,
but still i got to get baby's present first. i owe him since 10thJuly.
:]
this always happens ever since we got together.
a late present giver as a girlfriend,
tsktsk.

2007-07-22T05:11:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 33 MONTHS BABY!
baby went back to camp today.
left his home when he was still sleeping away.
and i love that k800i that he gave me.
WHEE!:]

and i just realised ive an event on yesterday, 21st July.
some young entrepeuneur's convention at sch yest.
ohwells;
even if i had rmbred or someone had called to remind me,
i wouldnt go.
i probably wld fake a toothache or a cramp.
weekends are so precious to me now that i can only see him on weekends.
but they always seem to pass so fast.

just ended the call with him, his bunkmate answered the call hhahaha. said he's lying beside my bf, and baby is hugging him! I WAS LIKE..
WHAT!!
hahaha. ok happens that baby's cutting his toenails. and his bunkmate happened to answer the call hahaha:]

tmr is a Monday again.
ITAB and ECONS.
damn, why did SP have to teach a crap module like ITAB?
what an ass.
>:(

2007-07-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

second day meeting baby. went to eat at Griller's at tiongbahruplaza.
yum. he always orders food that I REALISE I LIKE AFTER TASTING IT, and they are always better tasting then what i ordered. humph.
went to bedok after dinner, felt so good sitting on his bike again. so damn cooling(:

saw someone carrying the bag by Anya Hindmarch. It looks fugly to me, i wonder why so many people are starting to buy it. saw one online for like $45, which is so cheap, and then chanced upon one that costs $360. HAHA, weird ah. people have to do something to something that's trendy. buy cheap ones will worry if its fake, but expensive ones will scared if kena cheated. haiyah, human nature =/

and oh, the mrt disruption at clementi really is because of suicide case. =X
guess we living things will never apprehend what they are thinking about. we know how painful it will be, to get ripped by tonnes of metal and sharp corners, but still, life must be so bad till one decides to die that way. sigh. its a 70 year old elderly woman i heard from Mum, so imagine how painful it can get. =(

on a sidenote Maneater by Nelly is oh so damn nice:]

2007-07-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

I MET BABY TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER 10 DAYS!
he smells of sweat. he feels smaller. he feels bald.
(: anyway how glad am i to see him again. stayed at his home for a while, his mum bought dinner, ate and we left. HIS LIL NEPHEW DOESNT RECOGNISE ME!!!! oh how much i love his lil nephew but now he treats me like a stranger. he used to run to the door when i arrive, and smile at me damn sweetly showing me his lil cute dimples. but now, he runs away when i want to hug him! IM SO HEARTBROKEN!

ANyway, econs was cancelled today. like phew, tutorial was cheemology. had pth, a short meeting for IR and left to HTA with juan. cant go in, so i waited for her at bus stop. mosquitoes fed on my blood. i was only there for like 5 mins i have 3 bites. DAMNTHEMOZZIES.
went marinasq after that for a short while, left to meet dear(:

and i realised Akon has a song called I Wanna Fuck You. hahahaha. tried to get it but no one has that song. god, i wanna hear how it sounds like, LOL.
and umbrella by Rihanna is so horrigeeble. why the 4/5 review? me don't understand. perhaps its rather subjective:D

Sleeping now, im so tired.

2007-07-19T08:54:00.000-07:00

Im so dead for PACC.
Once again, who invented Accounting?
damn.

a few more hours to go.
once i doze off, and i open my eyes, its a brand new day at 7am:]
a few more hours to seeing my lovable babbbbbbby(:

Anyways,
whats wrong with ken kwan today?! he's so girly-freakly emotional, it gets on my nerves really. and seriously, its funny to see his lips inflate like thick pines, and looking like hes gonna flare up crying anytime. wahahahaha.
and please, don't poke the poor projection table with your tender finger. You may break it and oh, away flies your prada ring you whore.
hello mister, you told us to follow the Stats Timetable like a bible. YOU TOLD US THAT. and presto, today you said that last week you mentioned we had to do TWO frigging tutorials. we didnt do, but because the rest of the class said they've done your work, you thought we are trying to be rebellious and challenging you by not doing.
WE know what you gonna do, because its not like you've never done it before. You start preaching like a pastor. It rings in my ears, truth be told, but i enjoy it more than your stats lessons when you shoot off like a gun [:

Anyway juanie was sucha heroic maiden to say those few words. i didnt even think it was insulting or downright arrogant. HAHA, even though he claimed he wasnt having a PERIOD or being over emotional, but we all have eyes to see for ourselves. (:

Gosh im so tired now, its 12.05 in the morning, and im only starting to read my econs notes.
=)

1 day left

2007-07-18T05:15:00.000-07:00

I STARED AT P&Ls AND B/Ss the whole day.
Who in the world invented Accounting!
skipped stats with the girls, too tired physically and mentally to go through another hour of tortorous draggy maths lecture. ate with them at foodcourt, felt so much better before going for EC.
used justina's laptop to look around for scary pics and videos, and saw the one on the mrt suicide incident. me and juan were so freaked out we used a paper to cover our eyes whenever we were about to view a scary scene. nanny couldnt bother with us, she was reading her AmandaQuick book, occasioanally peeping at our laptop screen :D justina was superifically calm while viewing the videos, except for that little shrill scream that escaped from her throat when she saw one of the videos. HAHHAA.
EC was normal, the usual StandardEnglish schtuffs. :/ HAHAHA had a heeeelarious time with juanie when we changed the wallpaper of justina's laptop to some big boobed cartoon pornstar. HAHAHA, laughed till my stomach ached ! :)

studied at Moberly AGAIN after school, i so want to buy my red skinnies!
no one is wearing them at the mo, so i better buy before some girl says SO MANY PPLE COPY HER.

and oh, im getting baby's botak pic latr in the night!
on a sidenote, FC6 fruit tarts are orgasmic :D

2 days left

2007-07-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

me got three love rivals.
AH TU, WYMEN AND MARCUS.
all want to have a share of the boyfriend's pie!

NOWAY!
they flirted right in front of my eyes with him! like, GRAWR!!
I MISS BABY!

3 more days

2007-07-15T07:55:00.000-07:00

BOY, iloveyoumorethananythingelse-

MUGGING AT MOBERLY!
hahahahaha. unglam studying at moberly today!
love them for being so darn unglam with me!!
:D
pics are kopped from the sexiest cutest prettiest huijuan:D

i was so bored i did quizzes (:

You Are A Woman!

Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood.
You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out.
You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat.
This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife!

Are You A Girl Or a Woman?

Your Kissing Technique Is: Passionate but Aggressive

Hey, slow it down a little!Yes, you've got some killer kissing moves...But that doesn't mean you need to show off ten minutes worth of technique in ten seconds.Take your time. A little passion goes a long way.Are You a Good Kisser?

Are You a Good Kisser?

4 more days

2007-07-14T05:54:00.001-07:00

EDITED <6.11pm>
im suffocating from overdosage of ammonia. UGH.
i hate the hairstylist. she tugs and she tugs and she tugs at the few strands of hair remaining on my head! and she didnt even care if the hair blower is so overheated, i think some patches of my scalp are burnt :( OWWWCH. i cant find the store jerlyn was talking about, i ended up visiting the nearest one at bedok interchange. the end result is not bad, but the 3 hour- process of dyeing and highlighting nearly made me die.

and i'm still stuck at POA. tell me why am i so undisciplined to study.
:[
and perverts are horrendous. especially old ones whom eat viagra.
dont the sickening old man know how to balance himself on the bus? those metal poles and bars are there for a fucking reason! why sway himself machiam dancing ballet like that? hello, i study physics even though my sciences suck, and i DO know that unless you're super duper heavy, you will not have such a high inertia, SO HIGH that even when the bus stopped, the old man is still throwing his damn weight onto me.

a disgusted Joy is an angry Joy!

i'm so glad i stepped real real hard on his foot, wahahaha. sorry ah, i know you are old, but too bad, who asked you to be so damn dirty. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
FFF. if baby was there and he was the one to step on his foot, i think the old man need to amputate his foot already.muhahaha!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha i bet baby is having a good time inside P.A! he has ways to use his phone most of the times, like WOW! mum even asked when he's coming back. 3 months? she asked.
i was like, HUH? NO WAY MAN. i cant even stand 3 weeks!
then she said, "your uncles went in for 3 months before they could come out."
and i went.. " ....oooohhhhh"

3 months without baby will be hell.
huh, like please, theres only 5 more days to go before he comes out. imagine if he's inside for only 5 days and i cannot see him for 2 months 25 days! thats madness. thank god rules changed with time, people told me baby's lucky to be in pa inside of the army when its 3 weeks instead of 10 days. then i will go, 10 days is 240 hours leh. very tortourous one!
yah, phew. now i finally understood.

going to dye my hair later!
bathing now. :]

5 more days

2007-07-14T05:31:00.001-07:00

didnt go to school today, down with a headache. must be too much PSP ruining my eyes :(
my posts are disappearing! HUIJUAN, WHY?! :[
felt sick the whole day, talked to baby a bit on the phone and off to bed i went. i slept the day away. thats how lethargic i was. the red shorts from pull&bear KEPT APPEARING in my mind! LIKE, WTH! get lost you thing. i know you got reduced from $34.90 to $19.90 but that doesnt give you a damn reason to keep popping up in my mind, GRAWWWWR!!
i still have hell loads of stuffs to buy, and i know i cannot spend so much. daddy just came back from malaysia and he looks so worn out, mum started crying all over again. SIGH:(

why is money so important in our lives? We can get by only with money. some people are so darn rich they neednt do anything before cash rolls into their pockets. some are so poor, they don't even have the money to survive each day. the world is getiing increasingly unfair. i no longer need to wear a new top each day, i no longer spend so much when i shop. i mean, i didnt even get anything when i went out with the girls yesterday. much as i yearn to get some decent top or bottom, thoughts of dad slogging in Malaysia, thoughts of the future pops into my mind. even a golden mountain depletes some day.

stop being such a materialistic freak.
i should be glad with what i have, and watch my damn spending.
I dont wish to grow up and depend so much on my parents, and have to end up borrowing from them day after day, have them pay for my home loans and breathing down my neck about my finance even when im old. i hate to think that my child's friends classify him as a boy from the lower income family, and dont even dare to spend when he goes out.

I must be a paranoid shit. i really wish to work earlier, get some income for the family. as little as it may be, at least i can cushion daddy from working so hard. it really breaks my heart to see him work like that, all worn out and pale, and yet i do nothing but spend his money. :[

6 more days

2007-07-13T06:10:00.000-07:00

classes ended at eleven! :D was a rather happy girl for today, baby called, we talked, smsed, i shopped with the girlfriends, walked vivo and marina sq, visited topshop, F21, zara, pull&bear, mng, parted at city hall and went home:]
camwhored as usual. they are such nice lovelies to take pics with.

and nanny has nice succulent boobs to lie on! :)

HAHA. silly baby kena punishment!
" I will not be late again." HAHAHAHA.
like pri sch sia. write on one full sheet of paper, lol!
SEE LAH, in p.a already still can late, HAIYA.

tmr going school to study accounting with Nanny. i hate the feeling of not studying and shopping too much, so i have to make myself feel better by going sch to do some studying tmr. POA, as usual. GAH. not that i adore the subject, but that test's coming up next thurs, and baby's coming out the next day, which is Friday! weekends pass damn fast, and soon it will be Monday again(:
not so very hooked on tennis already, i realised i kept losing as my rank improved. damn hard to play mans, rawr. i rather enjoy the aircon on the train ride home listening to my mp3.

looking forward to 20thJuly(: i cant wait to hug him again.
having a headache. end here.

7 more days

2007-07-12T03:51:00.000-07:00

reached home at around six today, went bugis with juanie. tried some topshop stuffs on, but i remembered what baby told me before he went in.
he said "you better dont spend so much" (: and plus i was rather broke, I promised baby to buy him theee LV wallet:D

tried for the sake of fun, juanie had to leave so i hurry hurry walk with her to the train stn. my feet's hurting like mad, the plasticky part of the new shoes are bitting hard into my flesh. the wounds stung like bees when i bathe. OUCH.

got back bloody stats. 70.5, i would have cried when ive gotten this kinda results in JC or sec sch. but no, the whole world is scoring 80 and 90s in poly. oh Joy, you're lagging far too much behind. what happened to your aspirations? You said you will score well and get a GPA3.5 like what you promised him. =(( thanks to mr.ken's leniency i can score a B. if not, i will be stuck with a damn fuking C.

Rushed down to fc5 to start on project, but we didnt know what to do. ate KFC then left with juanie. it was a kinda boring day today, except that prolly i learnt some real POA thanks to junelin and my hot nanny. HAHA.

baby's rather slack inside PA! im glad. :D
shall slack till 8pm bfr i get down to do Econs.
(:

8 more days

2007-07-11T01:45:00.000-07:00

EDITED: 10:31PM 11th July2007.

Baby called me, smsed him a short while before he went to sleep.
he said he's changing bunks tomorrow, im glad. because he will be further away from the girls' bunk wahahaha.
and i realised this : I'm sobbing inside, not entirely because you are away from me. but also because I'm glad that the little boy i had with me all this while, is growing up to be a real man to serve the nation. i know its silly, but like what wymen told you, i'm worried if whether you wouldnt be able to do something as simple as filling up forms. you and i know that i am always the one to fill up forms for you, snatch the pen away from you and start filling in your particulars myself. m also always the one to run up to your home to get the keys, the one to call up singtel or starhub to enquire on your behalf.
i told my girlfriends this : im like a mother, letting her newborn son walk alone after letting my hands go. even if you fall or trip, i wouldnt be around, to see you fall and catch you as you descend.

but anyway, i know you're growing up inside. thats what im really really relieved about.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

came back straight after school today, mum was quite shocked to see me. usually at this time in the afternoon, its either me or daddy whom would come home. not daddy now though- he's in malaysia.

wanted to go to bugis for some shopping, but juanie's sick with a flu. poor girl, get well soon okay! (: went crazy with jokes and funny antics on the train today with my three girlfriends. acted homo with justina, only to get the stares of some angmoh. HAHA. laughed till my stomach hurt like crazy, its this kind of feeling that i love when im with them.

my heart skipped a beat when the train reached tiong bahru, but i didnt show it on my face. i still miss you, thats for sure, but i know you are getting fine inside. You called me twice again! HAHA. you still havent shaved your hair off (HAHA!) :D

pia-ing tennis on darl's PSP like mad now. i actually planned to sit the train till pasir ris then return to tanah merah and alight, JUST TO PLAY TENNIS. seriously, its kind of addictive. no wonder you always play and ignore me! HAHA.

shall pack and tidy ALL MY NOTES then get down to study some hardcore POA. i understood lecture on depreciation today, im relieved. everyone has been telling me how easy peasy POA is. even YOU! HAHA.

its 4.52, i shall wait till you call again after nite. i love you (:

9 more days

2007-07-10T05:50:00.000-07:00

baby you called me! I'M SO DAMN HAPPY LAH CAN. was feeling quite uptight that its already past 7 and you didnt call, when the familiar ringtone came (:

im super duper happy to hear that you are doing absolutely fine inside! mans, but the part on when you look out of the windows its the girls' bunk made me go greeeeen! but thank god and the heavens above its only a temporary arrangement and you'll only stay in the bunk for two days, like OMG PHEWWW can. i cannot imagine my baby inside, some 80km away from me, gawking at some girls in police academy! it must be wymen's curse. he said i will never know if there are pretty girls in PA, and i will never know if they are pretty. cannot be what, i saw some but all not pretty leh! WHALAUEH. want to see girls WAIT 9 more days hor! i can represent all the females in the world wahahahaha.

and im also happy to hear that you actually ATE finish your dinner, and that its better than the nasi lemak we had. GOOD GOOD. at least they never abuse you inside. probably the spaghetti and omelette they showed us was real. you DO have such heavenly food in PA! whoa, machiam restaurant food man.

AND OH baby. im having a cscc meeting tmr! its only a small teensy weensy meeting, after that probably going bugis with juanie. i miss shopping with her(:
oh and thanks JUANIE NANNY JUSTINA JERLYN & JORDAN for cheering me up today, the tissues, the squeezes, the dont-be-sad-he-will-come-out-soon msgs, the "i also live choa chu kang, you got anything can pass to me then i pass to him for you" msg by jordan and the smiles you all give more than cheered me up. although i still am sad when the train passes by tiong bahru and i didnt alight, im glad i have you SEXYS to support me behind!

psp current ranking at tennis : still 300.
baby i don't think i can hit a ranking of 1 within 10 days man. =P
try okay, wahahahahahaha.

10 more days.

2007-07-09T22:13:00.000-07:00

i just sent baby off at P.A, took the train with him to choa chu kang this morning. looking back, its been long ever since we both took a train together. im always alone on it, or he's alway riding his bike. but today, we are both taking the train(:

had a tour around PA, was quite relieved that the living conditions were rather good. there's bunk beds, with combination locked lockers, and a washing machine. ate nasi lemak at the canteen, baby didnt eat much..

dear you :
went it was time to go, i really really held back my tears. i didnt want you to feel worried inside. i know you were trying not to cry also, and you didnt want to look into my eyes, which im glad you didnt. the tears were already falling off, my nose already turned sour. on the bus, i finally cried.
im glad you are safe there in PA, im just upset that I didnt do anything for you when today is your birthday. happy twenty years old, baby.

"promise me to take care of yourself inside. I will be a good girl and wait to see you in ten days' time. love you, my superman"

2007-07-09T08:42:00.001-07:00

im crazy la, pls.
im trying not to think about tmr, yet i keep looking at the pics we took just now at foodrepublic.

we both look awful when we open our mouth and show our teeth when we smile! hahaha. so i didnt post that pic up. but hey, my baby's always always awesome to me!

SIGHS.
and thanks to my lovely girlfriends whom cheered me up with simple msgs that they will be there for me when baby's not around. huijuan, vivian, justina, xiuling(:
thankyou girls! :D

back to ITAB. RWAR.

2007-07-09T02:38:00.000-07:00

went wisma with baby, nicole, jingzhe and marcus. ate at food republic. thoughts of you leaving tomorrow kept bugging me, and really, i would dare say that i tried avoided thinking abt it. hearing how jingzhe said about police acad (abt how relax and slack it was) i felt rather relieved. i know you will adapt well, make a hell lot more of brothers and enjoy your two years there.

silly jerlyn smsed me thrice but i did not reply her. yes, was busy with darling. HE'S GOING TO POLICE ACAD TMR HOW CAN I NOT BE BUSY WITH HIM? and she replied "why nvr reply me sia. busy *AHEM* ah?" and when i replied, yeah right, damn period came at wrong time, she replied back "wait two weeks when he come back sure damn horny one la."

YEAH right. LOL!

and oh, called daddy in malaysia. he's quite stressed out at his first day of work. luckily his company gave him a whole spacious bungalow to live with 6 other males, a spanking new car to drive to the factory, the residence is at a town area so its rather busy and the place is only one hour ride from SG! MUAHAHAHA. JOY HAS A NEW WEEKEND ESCAPADE! (:
*grins.
hope god blesses daddy there. he's working like a cow for the family and I cant even study well even in poly. GOSH. i feel like slapping myself hard whenever i think of that.

baby is happying away at queenstown playing billard with his bros.
what should i do now? DAMN, i hate it but ITAB pops up.
-.-