its sunday again.
was raining like crazy from morning tilll afternoon,
met him at lavender,
i was late,
but surprisingly he wasnt angry, just complained all the way haha :)
rode both of us to eat, and along the way it started pouring =/
he gave me this extra extra large army raincoat to wear, which covered me all the way to my knees :D
bought food and left for home, and he was drenched from top to toe.
thanks my love!

i will miss you, see you next friday (:

wednesday.
i skipped poa, walked aound the whole school with the girls. it wasnt exactly a great choice (esp when SP is so huge), but it beats better that staying and attending the stupid lecture. left after we managed to walk to dover mrt, which is like a miracle. saw the biggest fashion disaster in my entire 18 years of living. i laughed so much my stomach hurts. it probably made my day a little better.
sorry to the girl we laughed at. it was too much to stomach, seriously.
a reminiscence of the 60's i suppose. cropped grey tank top with pink trimings, and high waisted checkered skirt. the tank top jus ended a little under her boobs and her skirt started where the tank top ended. no, it wasnt meant to be hot to look at. it was just plain disastrous =/ especially when ALL of us find it funny, i don't see why its not funny lol.




some pictures taken during the week(:

HAPPY FEET :D



during boring ITAB =/


someone ask Justina to open her eyes?


Boring Stats. lecturer = nanny's man (:
spy the couple on the middle left hand corner! tsk tsk.
its the big guy in stripes and small girl in brown hahahaha.
gosh i sound like the paparazzi.

baby's coming out soon on fri, i wanna see him so much.

I couldnt answer your question.

i thought I loved you enough, I though I treated you well..
And yet I couldnt answer that question that I thought I should.
im sorry if i let you down in any way.

i really want to be there for you when you need me,
when you meet problems and need my help.
I know i can be stupid sometimes,
but all i want is you to acknowledge my existence when you need someone to depend on.
I really love you,
so you cannot imagine how it hurts within when i heard that from you.
my heart feels like its been pierced, ripped and swallowed.

I can't blame myself enough.
I'm really sorry.

went to bugis to shop with the girlfriends:]
didnt buy anything except for the silicon casing & protection sheet.
i saw huijuan's bank acc bal and i thought,
its time for me to save up.
wonder how many months allowance will i take to save up as much as her. WAHAHAHA.
im relieved albeit guilty mum and dad has a savings account for me.
its their money still, and i don't feel right using it,
although they kept saying the money is ultimately for me and sis.

will cut back on my spending,
but still i got to get baby's present first. i owe him since 10thJuly.
:]
this always happens ever since we got together.
a late present giver as a girlfriend,
tsktsk.

HAPPY 33 MONTHS BABY!
baby went back to camp today.
left his home when he was still sleeping away.
and i love that k800i that he gave me.
WHEE!:]

and i just realised ive an event on yesterday, 21st July.
some young entrepeuneur's convention at sch yest.
ohwells;
even if i had rmbred or someone had called to remind me,
i wouldnt go.
i probably wld fake a toothache or a cramp.
weekends are so precious to me now that i can only see him on weekends.
but they always seem to pass so fast.

just ended the call with him, his bunkmate answered the call hhahaha. said he's lying beside my bf, and baby is hugging him! I WAS LIKE..
WHAT!!
hahaha. ok happens that baby's cutting his toenails. and his bunkmate happened to answer the call hahaha:]

tmr is a Monday again.
ITAB and ECONS.
damn, why did SP have to teach a crap module like ITAB?
what an ass.
>:(

second day meeting baby. went to eat at Griller's at tiongbahruplaza.
yum. he always orders food that I REALISE I LIKE AFTER TASTING IT, and they are always better tasting then what i ordered. humph.
went to bedok after dinner, felt so good sitting on his bike again. so damn cooling(:

saw someone carrying the bag by Anya Hindmarch. It looks fugly to me, i wonder why so many people are starting to buy it. saw one online for like $45, which is so cheap, and then chanced upon one that costs $360. HAHA, weird ah. people have to do something to something that's trendy. buy cheap ones will worry if its fake, but expensive ones will scared if kena cheated. haiyah, human nature =/

and oh, the mrt disruption at clementi really is because of suicide case. =X
guess we living things will never apprehend what they are thinking about. we know how painful it will be, to get ripped by tonnes of metal and sharp corners, but still, life must be so bad till one decides to die that way. sigh. its a 70 year old elderly woman i heard from Mum, so imagine how painful it can get. =(

on a sidenote Maneater by Nelly is oh so damn nice:]

I MET BABY TODAY FOR THE FIRST TIME AFTER 10 DAYS!
he smells of sweat. he feels smaller. he feels bald.
(: anyway how glad am i to see him again. stayed at his home for a while, his mum bought dinner, ate and we left. HIS LIL NEPHEW DOESNT RECOGNISE ME!!!! oh how much i love his lil nephew but now he treats me like a stranger. he used to run to the door when i arrive, and smile at me damn sweetly showing me his lil cute dimples. but now, he runs away when i want to hug him! IM SO HEARTBROKEN!

ANyway, econs was cancelled today. like phew, tutorial was cheemology. had pth, a short meeting for IR and left to HTA with juan. cant go in, so i waited for her at bus stop. mosquitoes fed on my blood. i was only there for like 5 mins i have 3 bites. DAMNTHEMOZZIES.
went marinasq after that for a short while, left to meet dear(:

and i realised Akon has a song called I Wanna Fuck You. hahahaha. tried to get it but no one has that song. god, i wanna hear how it sounds like, LOL.
and umbrella by Rihanna is so horrigeeble. why the 4/5 review? me don't understand. perhaps its rather subjective:D

Sleeping now, im so tired.

Im so dead for PACC.
Once again, who invented Accounting?
damn.

a few more hours to go.
once i doze off, and i open my eyes, its a brand new day at 7am:]
a few more hours to seeing my lovable babbbbbbby(:

Anyways,
whats wrong with ken kwan today?! he's so girly-freakly emotional, it gets on my nerves really. and seriously, its funny to see his lips inflate like thick pines, and looking like hes gonna flare up crying anytime. wahahahaha.
and please, don't poke the poor projection table with your tender finger. You may break it and oh, away flies your prada ring you whore.
hello mister, you told us to follow the Stats Timetable like a bible. YOU TOLD US THAT. and presto, today you said that last week you mentioned we had to do TWO frigging tutorials. we didnt do, but because the rest of the class said they've done your work, you thought we are trying to be rebellious and challenging you by not doing.
WE know what you gonna do, because its not like you've never done it before. You start preaching like a pastor. It rings in my ears, truth be told, but i enjoy it more than your stats lessons when you shoot off like a gun [:

Anyway juanie was sucha heroic maiden to say those few words. i didnt even think it was insulting or downright arrogant. HAHA, even though he claimed he wasnt having a PERIOD or being over emotional, but we all have eyes to see for ourselves. (:

Gosh im so tired now, its 12.05 in the morning, and im only starting to read my econs notes.
=)

I STARED AT P&Ls AND B/Ss the whole day.
Who in the world invented Accounting!
skipped stats with the girls, too tired physically and mentally to go through another hour of tortorous draggy maths lecture. ate with them at foodcourt, felt so much better before going for EC.
used justina's laptop to look around for scary pics and videos, and saw the one on the mrt suicide incident. me and juan were so freaked out we used a paper to cover our eyes whenever we were about to view a scary scene. nanny couldnt bother with us, she was reading her AmandaQuick book, occasioanally peeping at our laptop screen :D justina was superifically calm while viewing the videos, except for that little shrill scream that escaped from her throat when she saw one of the videos. HAHHAA.
EC was normal, the usual StandardEnglish schtuffs. :/ HAHAHA had a heeeelarious time with juanie when we changed the wallpaper of justina's laptop to some big boobed cartoon pornstar. HAHAHA, laughed till my stomach ached ! :)

studied at Moberly AGAIN after school, i so want to buy my red skinnies!
no one is wearing them at the mo, so i better buy before some girl says SO MANY PPLE COPY HER.

and oh, im getting baby's botak pic latr in the night!
on a sidenote, FC6 fruit tarts are orgasmic :D

me got three love rivals.
AH TU, WYMEN AND MARCUS.
all want to have a share of the boyfriend's pie!

NOWAY!
they flirted right in front of my eyes with him! like, GRAWR!!
I MISS BABY!

BOY, iloveyoumorethananythingelse-

EDITED <6.11pm>
im suffocating from overdosage of ammonia. UGH.
i hate the hairstylist. she tugs and she tugs and she tugs at the few strands of hair remaining on my head! and she didnt even care if the hair blower is so overheated, i think some patches of my scalp are burnt :( OWWWCH. i cant find the store jerlyn was talking about, i ended up visiting the nearest one at bedok interchange. the end result is not bad, but the 3 hour- process of dyeing and highlighting nearly made me die.

and i'm still stuck at POA. tell me why am i so undisciplined to study.
:[
and perverts are horrendous. especially old ones whom eat viagra.
dont the sickening old man know how to balance himself on the bus? those metal poles and bars are there for a fucking reason! why sway himself machiam dancing ballet like that? hello, i study physics even though my sciences suck, and i DO know that unless you're super duper heavy, you will not have such a high inertia, SO HIGH that even when the bus stopped, the old man is still throwing his damn weight onto me.

a disgusted Joy is an angry Joy!

i'm so glad i stepped real real hard on his foot, wahahaha. sorry ah, i know you are old, but too bad, who asked you to be so damn dirty. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
FFF. if baby was there and he was the one to step on his foot, i think the old man need to amputate his foot already.muhahaha!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

haha i bet baby is having a good time inside P.A! he has ways to use his phone most of the times, like WOW! mum even asked when he's coming back. 3 months? she asked.
i was like, HUH? NO WAY MAN. i cant even stand 3 weeks!
then she said, "your uncles went in for 3 months before they could come out."
and i went.. " ....oooohhhhh"

3 months without baby will be hell.
huh, like please, theres only 5 more days to go before he comes out. imagine if he's inside for only 5 days and i cannot see him for 2 months 25 days! thats madness. thank god rules changed with time, people told me baby's lucky to be in pa inside of the army when its 3 weeks instead of 10 days. then i will go, 10 days is 240 hours leh. very tortourous one!
yah, phew. now i finally understood.

going to dye my hair later!
bathing now. :]

didnt go to school today, down with a headache. must be too much PSP ruining my eyes :(
my posts are disappearing! HUIJUAN, WHY?! :[
felt sick the whole day, talked to baby a bit on the phone and off to bed i went. i slept the day away. thats how lethargic i was. the red shorts from pull&bear KEPT APPEARING in my mind! LIKE, WTH! get lost you thing. i know you got reduced from $34.90 to $19.90 but that doesnt give you a damn reason to keep popping up in my mind, GRAWWWWR!!
i still have hell loads of stuffs to buy, and i know i cannot spend so much. daddy just came back from malaysia and he looks so worn out, mum started crying all over again. SIGH:(

why is money so important in our lives? We can get by only with money. some people are so darn rich they neednt do anything before cash rolls into their pockets. some are so poor, they don't even have the money to survive each day. the world is getiing increasingly unfair. i no longer need to wear a new top each day, i no longer spend so much when i shop. i mean, i didnt even get anything when i went out with the girls yesterday. much as i yearn to get some decent top or bottom, thoughts of dad slogging in Malaysia, thoughts of the future pops into my mind. even a golden mountain depletes some day.

stop being such a materialistic freak.
i should be glad with what i have, and watch my damn spending.
I dont wish to grow up and depend so much on my parents, and have to end up borrowing from them day after day, have them pay for my home loans and breathing down my neck about my finance even when im old. i hate to think that my child's friends classify him as a boy from the lower income family, and dont even dare to spend when he goes out.

I must be a paranoid shit. i really wish to work earlier, get some income for the family. as little as it may be, at least i can cushion daddy from working so hard. it really breaks my heart to see him work like that, all worn out and pale, and yet i do nothing but spend his money. :[

classes ended at eleven! :D was a rather happy girl for today, baby called, we talked, smsed, i shopped with the girlfriends, walked vivo and marina sq, visited topshop, F21, zara, pull&bear, mng, parted at city hall and went home:]
camwhored as usual. they are such nice lovelies to take pics with.

reached home at around six today, went bugis with juanie. tried some topshop stuffs on, but i remembered what baby told me before he went in.
he said "you better dont spend so much" (: and plus i was rather broke, I promised baby to buy him theee LV wallet:D

tried for the sake of fun, juanie had to leave so i hurry hurry walk with her to the train stn. my feet's hurting like mad, the plasticky part of the new shoes are bitting hard into my flesh. the wounds stung like bees when i bathe. OUCH.

got back bloody stats. 70.5, i would have cried when ive gotten this kinda results in JC or sec sch. but no, the whole world is scoring 80 and 90s in poly. oh Joy, you're lagging far too much behind. what happened to your aspirations? You said you will score well and get a GPA3.5 like what you promised him. =(( thanks to mr.ken's leniency i can score a B. if not, i will be stuck with a damn fuking C.

Rushed down to fc5 to start on project, but we didnt know what to do. ate KFC then left with juanie. it was a kinda boring day today, except that prolly i learnt some real POA thanks to junelin and my hot nanny. HAHA.

baby's rather slack inside PA! im glad. :D
shall slack till 8pm bfr i get down to do Econs.
(:

EDITED: 10:31PM 11th July2007.

Baby called me, smsed him a short while before he went to sleep.
he said he's changing bunks tomorrow, im glad. because he will be further away from the girls' bunk wahahaha.
and i realised this : I'm sobbing inside, not entirely because you are away from me. but also because I'm glad that the little boy i had with me all this while, is growing up to be a real man to serve the nation. i know its silly, but like what wymen told you, i'm worried if whether you wouldnt be able to do something as simple as filling up forms. you and i know that i am always the one to fill up forms for you, snatch the pen away from you and start filling in your particulars myself. m also always the one to run up to your home to get the keys, the one to call up singtel or starhub to enquire on your behalf.
i told my girlfriends this : im like a mother, letting her newborn son walk alone after letting my hands go. even if you fall or trip, i wouldnt be around, to see you fall and catch you as you descend.

but anyway, i know you're growing up inside. thats what im really really relieved about.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


came back straight after school today, mum was quite shocked to see me. usually at this time in the afternoon, its either me or daddy whom would come home. not daddy now though- he's in malaysia.

wanted to go to bugis for some shopping, but juanie's sick with a flu. poor girl, get well soon okay! (: went crazy with jokes and funny antics on the train today with my three girlfriends. acted homo with justina, only to get the stares of some angmoh. HAHA. laughed till my stomach hurt like crazy, its this kind of feeling that i love when im with them.

my heart skipped a beat when the train reached tiong bahru, but i didnt show it on my face. i still miss you, thats for sure, but i know you are getting fine inside. You called me twice again! HAHA. you still havent shaved your hair off (HAHA!) :D

pia-ing tennis on darl's PSP like mad now. i actually planned to sit the train till pasir ris then return to tanah merah and alight, JUST TO PLAY TENNIS. seriously, its kind of addictive. no wonder you always play and ignore me! HAHA.

shall pack and tidy ALL MY NOTES then get down to study some hardcore POA. i understood lecture on depreciation today, im relieved. everyone has been telling me how easy peasy POA is. even YOU! HAHA.

its 4.52, i shall wait till you call again after nite. i love you (:

baby you called me! I'M SO DAMN HAPPY LAH CAN. was feeling quite uptight that its already past 7 and you didnt call, when the familiar ringtone came (:

im super duper happy to hear that you are doing absolutely fine inside! mans, but the part on when you look out of the windows its the girls' bunk made me go greeeeen! but thank god and the heavens above its only a temporary arrangement and you'll only stay in the bunk for two days, like OMG PHEWWW can. i cannot imagine my baby inside, some 80km away from me, gawking at some girls in police academy! it must be wymen's curse. he said i will never know if there are pretty girls in PA, and i will never know if they are pretty. cannot be what, i saw some but all not pretty leh! WHALAUEH. want to see girls WAIT 9 more days hor! i can represent all the females in the world wahahahaha.

and im also happy to hear that you actually ATE finish your dinner, and that its better than the nasi lemak we had. GOOD GOOD. at least they never abuse you inside. probably the spaghetti and omelette they showed us was real. you DO have such heavenly food in PA! whoa, machiam restaurant food man.

AND OH baby. im having a cscc meeting tmr! its only a small teensy weensy meeting, after that probably going bugis with juanie. i miss shopping with her(:
oh and thanks JUANIE NANNY JUSTINA JERLYN & JORDAN for cheering me up today, the tissues, the squeezes, the dont-be-sad-he-will-come-out-soon msgs, the "i also live choa chu kang, you got anything can pass to me then i pass to him for you" msg by jordan and the smiles you all give more than cheered me up. although i still am sad when the train passes by tiong bahru and i didnt alight, im glad i have you SEXYS to support me behind!

psp current ranking at tennis : still 300.
baby i don't think i can hit a ranking of 1 within 10 days man. =P
try okay, wahahahahahaha.

i just sent baby off at P.A, took the train with him to choa chu kang this morning. looking back, its been long ever since we both took a train together. im always alone on it, or he's alway riding his bike. but today, we are both taking the train(:

had a tour around PA, was quite relieved that the living conditions were rather good. there's bunk beds, with combination locked lockers, and a washing machine. ate nasi lemak at the canteen, baby didnt eat much..

dear you :
went it was time to go, i really really held back my tears. i didnt want you to feel worried inside. i know you were trying not to cry also, and you didnt want to look into my eyes, which im glad you didnt. the tears were already falling off, my nose already turned sour. on the bus, i finally cried.
im glad you are safe there in PA, im just upset that I didnt do anything for you when today is your birthday. happy twenty years old, baby.

"promise me to take care of yourself inside. I will be a good girl and wait to see you in ten days' time. love you, my superman"

im crazy la, pls.
im trying not to think about tmr, yet i keep looking at the pics we took just now at foodrepublic.





we both look awful when we open our mouth and show our teeth when we smile! hahaha. so i didnt post that pic up. but hey, my baby's always always awesome to me!

SIGHS.
and thanks to my lovely girlfriends whom cheered me up with simple msgs that they will be there for me when baby's not around. huijuan, vivian, justina, xiuling(:
thankyou girls! :D

back to ITAB. RWAR.

went wisma with baby, nicole, jingzhe and marcus. ate at food republic. thoughts of you leaving tomorrow kept bugging me, and really, i would dare say that i tried avoided thinking abt it. hearing how jingzhe said about police acad (abt how relax and slack it was) i felt rather relieved. i know you will adapt well, make a hell lot more of brothers and enjoy your two years there.

silly jerlyn smsed me thrice but i did not reply her. yes, was busy with darling. HE'S GOING TO POLICE ACAD TMR HOW CAN I NOT BE BUSY WITH HIM? and she replied "why nvr reply me sia. busy *AHEM* ah?" and when i replied, yeah right, damn period came at wrong time, she replied back "wait two weeks when he come back sure damn horny one la."

YEAH right. LOL!

and oh, called daddy in malaysia. he's quite stressed out at his first day of work. luckily his company gave him a whole spacious bungalow to live with 6 other males, a spanking new car to drive to the factory, the residence is at a town area so its rather busy and the place is only one hour ride from SG! MUAHAHAHA. JOY HAS A NEW WEEKEND ESCAPADE! (:
*grins.
hope god blesses daddy there. he's working like a cow for the family and I cant even study well even in poly. GOSH. i feel like slapping myself hard whenever i think of that.

baby is happying away at queenstown playing billard with his bros.
what should i do now? DAMN, i hate it but ITAB pops up.
-.-

your wonderwoman(:

eighteen; 09th oct 1989
bvps cchms nyjc
CSCC , StudentMentorAndRelationsTeam.
SP tourism && resort mgmt [DTRMFT1A/04]

she's missing you, right this very moment.